Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamamous and weath than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people

Moving towards the 21st century, a large number of people are nowadays expressing a deeply growing concern about celebrities. In fact, there are some who hold firmly to their belief that some celebrities are known for their glamorous lifestyles rather than for the work they do and they set a bad example for children. However, others argue convincingly that many celebrities whose accomplishments make them excellent role models for young people. As far as I am concerned, I wholeheartedly agree with the former argument, and some major points will be addressed in the following paragraphs. To begin with, there is a clear evidence for other people to support the opposite view, there are celebrities who are popular for their incredible acts or outstanding performance. Actually, it is a well-documented fact that actors, musicians and sports stars become famous idols because they worked hard and applied themselves to develop real skills and abilities. For instance, the actor and martial artist Jacke Chan, who has become world-famous through years of practice and hard work. On the other hand, there are a number of points for people to defend the view that celebrities are now rated on the basis of their glamour quotient and bank balance. First of all, it is commonly accepted that they may consider being rich at all costs will make them to be celebrities. The most obvious example to prove is that young girls tend to take care of their appearance, have rich boyfriends, prostitute rather than studying or learning at school which may lead to the deterioration of morale. Equally important, there is no doubt that many people do achieve fame without really working. This is supported by the fact that they may have inherited money from parents, married a famous or wealthy person. Finally, it is inevitable that people may use beauty or commit crimes to have a luxurious life. For example, the models or beautiful girls may have sensitive and close relationships with millionaires to have financial support from them. All things considered, it is my strong belief that when their celebrities behave badly because of insufficient education and lack of acknowledgment, this may result in social evils in the society of youngsters. Accordingly, I highly recommend that the governments should enhance people’s awareness in terms of the ways to become rich and famous. If this recommendation is carried out, the comprehensive development our future generations will be ensured
Moving towards the 21st century,
a large number of
people
are nowadays expressing a
deeply
growing concern about
celebrities
. In fact, there are
some
who hold
firmly
to their belief that
some
celebrities
are known
for their glamorous lifestyles
rather
than for the work they
do and
they set a
bad
example for children.
However
, others argue
convincingly
that
many
celebrities
whose accomplishments
make
them excellent role models for young
people
. As far as I
am concerned
, I
wholeheartedly
agree
with the former argument, and
some
major points will
be addressed
in the following paragraphs.

To
begin
with, there is a
clear
evidence for other
people
to support the opposite view, there are
celebrities
who are popular for their incredible acts or outstanding performance. Actually, it is a well-documented fact that actors, musicians and sports stars become
famous
idols
because
they worked
hard
and applied themselves to develop real
skills
and abilities.
For instance
, the actor and martial artist
Jacke
Chan, who has become world-
famous
through years of practice and
hard
work.

On the other hand
, there are a number of points for
people
to defend the view that
celebrities
are
now
rated on the basis of their glamour quotient and bank balance.
First of all
, it is
commonly
accepted
that they may consider being rich at all costs will
make
them to be
celebrities
. The most obvious example to prove is that young girls tend to take care of their appearance, have rich boyfriends, prostitute
rather
than studying or learning at school which may lead to the deterioration of morale.
Equally
important
, there is no doubt that
many
people
do achieve fame without
really
working. This
is supported
by the fact that they may have inherited money from parents, married a
famous
or wealthy person.
Finally
, it is inevitable that
people
may
use
beauty or commit crimes to have a luxurious life.
For example
, the models or
beautiful
girls may have sensitive and close relationships with millionaires to have financial support from them.

All things considered, it is my strong belief that when their
celebrities
behave
badly
because
of insufficient education and lack of acknowledgment, this may result in social evils in the society of youngsters.
Accordingly
, I
highly
recommend that the
governments
should enhance
people’s
awareness in terms of the ways to become rich and
famous
. If this recommendation
is carried
out, the comprehensive development our future generations will be
ensured
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamamous and weath than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
402 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts