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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamamous and weath than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people

In modern world people often become famous due to their richness and involving in fasion trends rather than by virtue of achievements. There is a supposition that this fact serves as a negative example to young generation. I disagree with this statement, because despite existance of celebrities without impressive talents, there are plenty of exceptions from this rule. Firstly, there are an ample range of famous people having significant success in their profession. A plethora of well-known singers with mesmerizing voice and magnificent finess can illustrate that honor can be acquired by assiduous work on artistic skills, and finess proceeds to yield woldwide recognition in spite of impecuniosity. Secondly, enormous material gain does not imply insufficiency of priseworthy moral qualities. For instance, some celebrities after obtaining glory and opulence, commenced to donate money for charity. It is cannot be denied that their decent largesse should be considered an inculcative example to growing teenagers. In conclusion, I do not agree that modern celebrities have detrimental effect on humanity. Furthermore, a huge spectrum of famous people substantiate a contrary stance on the issue.
In modern world
people
often
become
famous
due to their richness and involving in
fasion
trends
rather
than by virtue of achievements. There is a supposition that this fact serves as a
negative
example to young generation. I disagree with this statement,
because
despite
existance
of celebrities without impressive talents, there are
plenty
of
exceptions from
this
rule
.

Firstly
, there are an ample range of
famous
people
having significant success in their profession. A plethora of well-known singers with mesmerizing voice and magnificent
finess can
illustrate that honor can
be acquired
by assiduous work on artistic
skills
, and
finess
proceeds to yield
woldwide
recognition
in spite of
impecuniosity
.

Secondly
, enormous material gain does not imply insufficiency of
priseworthy
moral qualities.
For instance
,
some
celebrities after obtaining glory and opulence, commenced to donate money for charity.
It is cannot
be denied
that their decent largesse should
be considered
an
inculcative
example to growing
teenagers
.

In conclusion
, I do not
agree
that modern celebrities have detrimental effect on humanity.
Furthermore
, a huge spectrum of
famous
people
substantiate a contrary stance on the issue.
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IELTS essay Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamamous and weath than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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