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Nowadays children join extra coaching classes apart from the school studies something it is better for their future other think it should be spent on games discuss both view and give you an opinion and give you’re an opinion

Nowadays children join extra coaching classes apart from the school studies something it is better for their future other think it should be spent on games discuss both view and give you an opinion and give you’re an opinion gqgYl
Joining coaching classes have become essential for students. In order to get outstanding grade, a plenty of apprentice get enrolled in these classes. some thinkers, however, claimed that playing games more crucial than that of extra class. I largely in favor with the latter notion and this essay will explicate both statements in the upcoming segments before drawing conclusion. To commence with, utilizing time in extra coaching Centers is gracious. To elaborate it, by giving extra time to study one can become intellectual rich and boost their knowledge regarding that subject in which individual is lacking that in turn not only enhance their horizontal but also give them opportunity to learn extra. Another point is, every parents, in this competition era, wants their child forward ahead in studies and for this purpose, there is only option of coaching classes which assist the novice move to head than others. Ergo it is beneficial for offspring to achieve superior score. Some scholars, nevertheless, claim that taking part in sport is more prominent. Since it is not only rejuvenate themselves but also conducive to their holistic development. To explain it more, when people does not participate in games then inactive juvenile fall victims of numerous ailments which may deter them to concentrate properly on study. On the other hand, if they involve in extra curriculum ventures, children can easily concentrate on curriculum as well as it breaks their monotonous routine. It also develops camaraderie and synergy between them. According to my perception, giving extra time to sport is more beneficial as it leads to holistical growth which makes their future fruitful. To conclude, although studying extra time has some benefits. Yet the importance of games cannot be ignored.
Joining coaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
have become essential for students. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
outstanding grade, a
Possible agreement error. The noun apprentice seems to be countable; consider using: "plenty of apprentices".
plenty of apprentice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
enrolled in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
thinkers,
however
, claimed that playing games more crucial than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. I
largely
in favor with the latter notion and this essay will explicate both statements in the upcoming segments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
drawing conclusion.

To commence with, utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
coaching Centers is gracious. To elaborate it, by giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to study one can become intellectual rich and boost their knowledge regarding that subject in which individual is lacking that in turn not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhance their horizontal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
give them opportunity to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
. Another point is, every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "parent"?
parents
, in this competition era, wants their child forward ahead in studies and for this purpose, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
option of coaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
which assist the novice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to head than others. Ergo it is beneficial for offspring to achieve superior score.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
scholars,
nevertheless
, claim that taking part in sport is more prominent. Since it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rejuvenate themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
conducive to their holistic development. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it more, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
does
not participate in games then inactive juvenile fall victims of numerous ailments which may deter them to concentrate
properly
on study.
On the other hand
, if they involve in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
curriculum ventures, children can
easily
concentrate on curriculum
as well
as it breaks their monotonous routine. It
also
develops camaraderie and synergy between them.

According to my perception, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to sport is more beneficial as it leads to
Possible spelling mistake found.
holistical
growth which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their future fruitful.

To conclude
, although studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits.
Yet
the importance of games cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays children join extra coaching classes apart from the school studies something it is better for their future other think it should be spent on games discuss both view and give you an opinion and give you’re an opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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