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The advantages and disadvantages of living in a busy city

The advantages and disadvantages of living in a busy city L3elV
There are a lot of pros and cons wherever we live in a city and countryside. Nowadays people relocated from the rural areas to the busy cities for a variety of reasons are increasing as survey reports. Firstly, the busy city can offer much better public transportation than the others. However people can face air pollution caused by solid and liquid particles and certain gases that are suspended in the air. Secondly, people in the city have great opportunities to learn about education and latest technologies. As a consequence, they must struggle learning new technologies. Thirdly, even though people can find and get the jobs easily what they like in the downtown area of the city, they must expense higher cost of living in their daily lives. Moreover, the hustle and bustle of the city with it is 24/7 traffic, chitter chatter in the street and busy restaurants may be comforting to someone. Fourthly, elderly people can access hospital and clinics closely for healthcare or aid in an emergency because there are a lot of emergency and ambulance services within the city. Nevertheless, they cannot feel green fields and fresh air at most places in the city if compared with the countryside. In conclusion, there are too many reasons about the advantages and disadvantages of living in a busy city. Therefore, I would say that although living in a busy city does have some downsides, particularly pollution effects and financial situations for the city in questions.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pros and cons wherever we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a city and countryside. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relocated from the rural areas to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for a variety of reasons are increasing as survey reports.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
city can offer much better public transportation than the others.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can face air pollution caused by solid and liquid particles and certain gases that
are suspended
in the air.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the city have great opportunities to learn about education and latest technologies. As a consequence, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
struggle
If 'struggle' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to learn".
learning
new technologies.

Thirdly
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the jobs
easily
what they like in the downtown area of the city, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
expense higher cost of living in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Moreover
, the hustle and bustle of the city with it is 24/7 traffic,
Possible spelling mistake found.
chitter
chatter in the street and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
restaurants may be comforting to someone.

Fourthly
, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access hospital and clinics
closely
for healthcare or aid in an emergency
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
emergency and ambulance services within the city.
Nevertheless
, they cannot feel green fields and fresh air at most places in the city if compared with the countryside.

In conclusion
, there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons about the advantages and disadvantages of living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
city.
Therefore
, I would say that although living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
city does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides,
particularly
pollution effects and financial situations for the city in questions.
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IELTS essay The advantages and disadvantages of living in a busy city

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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