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Nowadays celebrities are mainly famous for their glamour and wealth

Nowadays celebrities are mainly famous for their glamour and wealth mbdAO
Nowadays, some of the most famous people in the world are mainly known for their material possessions and image and they can have a negative influence on young people. While I admit that many famous people are popular only for their riches and looks, I do not agree with the argument that all celebrities are bad role models for the society as some of them they can be extremely inspirational for teenagers because of their hard work and lifestyle. On the one hand, there are many artists who are famous only for being rich and attractive and their behaviour often has an adverse influence on teenagers. They send out the message that in order to be famous, you only have to be rich and beautiful. There are also some who do not mind engaging in acts that are typically considered disgraceful only to grab eyeballs. A typical example of this is Paris Hilton who is famous for being a rich celebrity. She often posts glamorous photos and videos of her wearing designer costumes. She is also often spotted drinking and smoking. This glamorous and lusty lifestyle can often influence teenagers in a negative way. They only see the superficial side of fame and do not understand or appreciate the efforts that go into making one successful. On the other hand, there are some celebrities who can be a positive role model for young adults. For instance, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the highest-paid football players in the world because of his determination, talent, and hard work. In fact, he is constantly training and working in order to build his stamina and endurance, aiming to give his best on the field. Therefore, he is extremely inspirational for children and young adults as Cristiano shows that it is essential to fight for our dreams by being a hardworking and perseverant person. Thus, some celebrities can be great role models for today’s society as they teach people pertinent lessons. To sum up, young individuals can be negatively influenced by celebrities who only flaunt their riches and lust. However, in my opinion, there are also some celebrities who can teach us valuable life lessons by virtue of their accomplishments in life.
Nowadays,
some
of the most
famous
people
in the world are
mainly
known for their material possessions and
image and
they can have a
negative
influence on
young
people
. While I admit that
many
famous
people
are popular
only
for their
riches
and looks, I do not
agree
with the argument that all
celebrities
are
bad
role models for the society as
some
of them they can be
extremely
inspirational for
teenagers
because
of their
hard
work and lifestyle.

On the one hand, there are
many
artists
who
are
famous
only
for being
rich
and attractive and their
behaviour
often
has an adverse influence on
teenagers
. They
send
out the message that in order to be
famous
, you
only
have to
be
rich
and
beautiful
. There are
also
some
who
do not mind engaging in acts that are
typically
considered disgraceful
only
to grab eyeballs. A typical example of this is Paris Hilton
who
is
famous
for being a
rich
celebrity
. She
often
posts glamorous photos and videos of her wearing designer costumes. She is
also
often
spotted drinking and smoking. This glamorous and lusty lifestyle can
often
influence
teenagers
in a
negative
way. They
only
see
the superficial side of fame and do not understand or appreciate the efforts that go into making one successful.

On the other hand
, there are
some
celebrities
who
can be a
positive
role model for
young
adults.
For instance
, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the highest-paid football players in the world
because
of his determination, talent, and
hard
work. In fact, he is
constantly
training and working in order to build his stamina and endurance, aiming to give his best on the field.
Therefore
, he is
extremely
inspirational for children and
young
adults as Cristiano
shows
that it is essential to fight for our dreams by being a hardworking and perseverant person.
Thus
,
some
celebrities
can be great role models for
today
’s society as they teach
people
pertinent lessons.

To sum up,
young
individuals can be
negatively
influenced by
celebrities
who
only
flaunt their
riches
and lust.
However
, in my opinion, there are
also
some
celebrities
who
can teach us valuable life lessons by virtue of their accomplishments in life.
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IELTS essay Nowadays celebrities are mainly famous for their glamour and wealth

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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