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Nowadays advancement of technology changes the interaction behaviour of people, some people opine that this becomes the positive development whereas some folks believes that this is becoming

Nowadays advancement of technology changes the interaction behaviour of people, some people opine that this becomes the positive development whereas some folks believes that this is becoming m9DXd
Nowadays advancement of technology changes the interaction behavior of people, some people opine that this becomes the positive development whereas some folks believes that this is becoming the negative development. Despite some drawback but as per my opinion this changes make the negative as well as positive development, in the following paragraph I would discuss how the technology affected the types of relationships between people and also elaborate my viewpoints with supporting examples. Technology affected the relationship in multiple ways. First, due to development of social sites the people are involved in these sites and not able to interact personally with his neighbors or family member due to this their bonding becoming loose. For example, my younger brother is always busy on internet, social sites and video games due to this he is not able to make new friends in societies and also he hesitates to talk personally to other folks. Second, husband and wife who lives in separate place due to work or other circumstances due to fast communication facilities these couples feel close to each other. Now coming to its positive and negative development, I would like discuss one positive side is many shy people who cannot talk to girls face to face, online platform is great way to make girlfriends. However, we cannot ignore its negative impacts like many couples make relationship online just only for money purpose or sex purpose and later on they betray to each other. For instance, one of friend who make his girlfriend on social site, his girlfriend tries to snatch money as much as possible and later on she betrays to my friend. To conclude, advancement of technology affected our relationships in both positive and negative manners, what we have to do is just careful with its negative impacts and enhance its positive side.
Nowadays advancement of technology
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changes
the interaction behavior of
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people
,
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some
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people
opine that this becomes the
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positive
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development
whereas
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some
folks believes that this is becoming the
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negative
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development
. Despite
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some
drawback
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but
as per my opinion this
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changes
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make
the
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negative
as well
as
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positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, in the following paragraph I would discuss how the technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
between
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people
and
also
elaborate my viewpoints with supporting examples.

Technology
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affected
the
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relationship
in multiple ways.
First
,
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due
to
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development
of social
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sites
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are involved
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and not able to interact
personally
with his neighbors or family member
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to this their bonding becoming loose.
For example
, my younger brother is always busy on internet, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and video games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to this he is not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
new friends in societies and
also
he hesitates to talk
personally
to other folks. Second, husband and wife who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in separate place
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due
to work or other circumstances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
communication facilities these couples feel close to each other.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
coming to its
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positive
and
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negative
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development
, I would like discuss one
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positive
side is
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many
shy
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people
who cannot talk to girls face to face, online platform is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a great".
great
way to
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make
girlfriends.
However
, we cannot
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ignore
its
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negative
impacts like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
couples
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make
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relationship
online
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just
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only
for money purpose or sex purpose and later on they betray to each other.
For instance
, one of friend who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
his girlfriend on social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
, his girlfriend tries to snatch money as much as possible and later on she betrays to my friend.

To conclude
, advancement of technology
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affected
our
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relationships
in both
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positive
and
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negative
manners, what we
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have to
do is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
careful with its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impacts and enhance its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
side.
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IELTS essay Nowadays advancement of technology changes the interaction behaviour of people, some people opine that this becomes the positive development whereas some folks believes that this is becoming

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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