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NOWADAYS A LARGE AMOUNT OF ADVERTISING AIMED AT CHILDREN SHOULD BE BANNED BECAUSE OF THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

NOWADAYS A LARGE AMOUNT OF ADVERTISING AIMED AT CHILDREN SHOULD BE BANNED BECAUSE OF THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS. GM9Lo
Advertising is a part of marketing. Every company use advertisements to promote their brands. There are few brands which specifically target children. They use different types marketing stratgies to make their products closer to children. Some people argue that this advertising materials causes some negative effects on kids. I agree to their statement. Today marketing is completely depends on advertising. It may be in digital form, audio or posters. Some of the brands which specifically target children, using inappropriate contents to gain the attention of the kids. This may impact the children's behaviour and their interaction with others. There are a lot advertisements opened debates on their negative effects on children. For example one advertisement of a famous chocolate company is banned because of it content. It claimed that by eating their chocolate they can gain good marks in school, which later raised an issue and banned by government. Children are vlunerable to the negative things, they attract children very well. Kids can't judge them, they learn whatever they see. So, we should be careful in the content and medium what they are learning. Some advertisements gives a strong desire to use them, kids don't the know the consequences and the prices of those items, so they want them at any cost. This type of behaviour brings problems to parents. These types of advertisments will be everywhere, like internet, television, posters etc. . . Examples are adevertisments based on superheros which is the biggest thing in market. To conclude, as a responsible human we should make sure what we are taeching to our next generations.
Advertising is a part of marketing. Every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to promote their brands. There are few brands which
specifically
target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types marketing
Possible spelling mistake found.
stratgies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their products closer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that this advertising materials causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to their statement.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
marketing is completely depends on advertising. It may be in digital form, audio or posters.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
brands which
specifically
target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, using inappropriate contents to gain the attention of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. This may impact the children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and their interaction with others. There are a lot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
opened debates on their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
one
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
chocolate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it content. It claimed that by eating their chocolate they can gain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks in school, which later raised an issue and banned by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Children are
Possible spelling mistake found.
vlunerable
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
things, they attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
can't judge them, they learn whatever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we should be careful in the content and medium what they are learning.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You should probably use "give".
gives
a strong desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
don't the know the consequences and the prices of those items,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they want them at any cost. This type of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
brings problems to parents. These types of
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisments
will be everywhere, like internet, television, posters etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Examples are
Possible spelling mistake found.
adevertisments
based on superheros which is the biggest thing in market.

To conclude
, as a responsible human we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure what we are
Possible spelling mistake found.
taeching
to our
next
generations.
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IELTS essay NOWADAYS A LARGE AMOUNT OF ADVERTISING AIMED AT CHILDREN SHOULD BE BANNED BECAUSE OF THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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