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Nowadays a few people take their family with them abroad whenever they go on a business trip. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? To what extent do you support this development?

In today's world the number of business people taking their family together on trip abroad has reduced. Although support of close people is of crucial role I reckon this as a positive improvement due to the fact that distraction may take place if family members are with them. Presence of family is considered to be important because they will help to ease the stress that some employees may experience. After long hours of intesive work exhausted workers are probably will be in need of mental help. This type of support are likely to be provided by beloved ones. Moreover productivity will increase at work because people who are on business journey will feel themselves like they did not even leave their home. However, I strongly believe that family members will prevent employees from focusing on the actual goal that trip has. By saying that, I imply, with an aim to be highly productive, business people should fully concentrate on their job that can be distracted by several factors including family. In addition to that, there are several possible ways using which they can communicate with their children or wife in case they miss them or have not seen them for a while; these include websites or apps such as Skype or imo and so on. In conclusion, it is believed that bringing family to foreign country on business trip is needed to stay satisfied with their living space I think it would much more beneficial to leave them.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
taking their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
together on trip abroad has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. Although support of close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is of crucial role I reckon this as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
improvement due to the fact that distraction may take place if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members are with them. Presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is considered
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employees may experience.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
long hours of
Possible spelling mistake found.
intesive
work exhausted workers are
probably
will be in need of mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. This type of support are likely to
be provided
by beloved ones.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
productivity will increase at work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
journey will feel themselves like they did not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home.
However
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
employees from focusing on the actual goal that trip has. By saying that, I imply, with an aim to be
highly
productive,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
fully
concentrate on their job that can
be distracted
by several factors including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
In addition
to that, there are several possible ways using which they can communicate with their children or wife in case they miss them or have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
them for a while; these include websites or apps such as Skype or
Possible spelling mistake found.
imo
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
In conclusion
, it
is believed
that bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to foreign country on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
trip
is needed
to stay satisfied with their living space I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would much more beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them.
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IELTS essay Nowadays a few people take their family with them abroad whenever they go on a business trip. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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