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being a celebrity - such as film star or sports - bring problems as well as benefits. Do you think what are advantages and disadvantages of this

Being a well-known person always attracts a lot of attention from people around. It is being said that it is also a huge responsibility because this person could be an idol for some people and they would do anything that he or she says even if it would be just a jest. That is why such popularity can bring positive and negative effects. In my opinion, being a famous person is a good side effect, because it means that this person has some power in a crowd. This authority can be used in a good way. For example, it can be promoting a non-smoke advertisement, free alcohol life, or visiting a gym to have a good shape. But these influences can be utilised in a bad way, for example when this person asks his subscribers on Twitter to do harmful things or some peril which can perish other people. Analyzing this, I would say that it is better to be a celebrity because in case something happens he or she can cope with this calamity by supporting people who adore him or his friends. Also, a celebrity can spread useful information or have an influence on people which causes positive changes in people’s lives. Despite the mentioned cons, I believe that there are many more pros. To conclude, having become famous, a person receives loads of attention and this could cause receiving some benefits or might be some misfortunes. Anyway, this is a way how it is going in our society and what to do with this - a personal way of this person.
Being a well-known
person
always attracts
a lot of
attention from
people
around. It is
being said
that it is
also
a huge responsibility
because
this
person
could be an idol for
some
people and
they would do anything that he or she says even if it would be
just
a jest.
That is
why such popularity can bring
positive
and
negative
effects.

In my opinion, being a
famous
person
is a
good
side effect,
because
it means that this
person
has
some
power in a crowd. This authority can be
used
in a
good
way.
For example
, it can be promoting a non-smoke advertisement, free alcohol life, or visiting a gym to have a
good
shape.
But
these influences can be
utilised
in a
bad
way,
for example
when this
person
asks his subscribers on Twitter to do harmful things or
some
peril which can perish other
people
.

Analyzing this, I would say that it is better to be a celebrity
because
in case something happens he or she can cope with this calamity by supporting
people
who adore him or his friends.
Also
, a celebrity can spread useful information or have an influence on
people
which causes
positive
changes
in
people’s
lives
. Despite the mentioned cons, I believe that there are
many
more pros.

To conclude
, having become
famous
, a
person
receives loads of attention and this could cause receiving
some
benefits or might be
some
misfortunes. Anyway, this is a way how it is going in our society and what to do with this
-
a personal way of this
person
.
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IELTS essay being a celebrity - such as film star or sports - bring problems as well as benefits. Do you think what are advantages and disadvantages of this

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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