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nowaday, sending children to boarding school (either in other countries or in one's own country) is becoming increasingly popular. Why is it? Is it a positive or a negative development?

nowaday, sending children to boarding school (either in other countries or in one's own country) is becoming increasingly popular. Why is it? Is it a positive or a negative development? lejAD
Boarding schools for children, which they are in a foreign country or in one’s own country, are becoming more popular in these days. Parents choose this for children's development but it is a tough subject which has merit and demerit sides. However, the demerit sides are majority. If your children are unimportant, you can try boarding schools. Boarding schools have positive effects for children. There are a number of reasons for this. Firstly, In boarding schools, children are more independent. Their parents can not stay with them forever. They can socialize with their friends more independently. This kind of education teach them the real life. Secondly, students from boarding school should have more auto control. In addition to homework, students must deal with their personal needs. Finally, with more responsibility, they broaden their mind. On the other hand, boarding schools have not only good effects. Some students are introverts. They need their parents with them. For these students, boarding schools can have negative effects. Children are mean to deprived children. In boarding school, where it is hell for sensitive hearts, they can make fun of their looser friends' weaknesses. That can effect children's development negatively. Menes, who is a poet from Turkey, mention about boarding school with tears. He said “I have been in World World 1 twice. In the first one, when I was six, my family killed by enemies. In the second one, I killed by my family”. We can not discuss about the development of someone who write this poem. In conclusion, negative effects of boarding schools are more heavier than positive effects. A group of children can be a weapon for introverts and they can damage harmfully.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which they are in a foreign country or in one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country, are becoming more popular in these days. Parents choose this for children's development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is a tough subject which has merit and demerit sides.
However
, the demerit sides are majority. If your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are unimportant, you can try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
schools.

Boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. There are a number of reasons for this.
Firstly
, In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more independent. Their parents can not stay with them forever. They can socialize with their friends more
independently
. This kind of education teach them the real life.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should have more auto control.
In addition
to homework,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
deal with their personal needs.
Finally
, with more responsibility, they broaden their mind.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are introverts. They need their parents with them. For these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are mean to deprived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, where it is hell for sensitive hearts, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
fun of their looser friends' weaknesses. That can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
children's development
negatively
. Menes, who is a poet from Turkey, mention about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with tears. He said “I have been in
Possible typo: you repeated a word
World World
1 twice. In the
first
one, when I was six, my family killed by enemies. In the second one, I killed by my family”. We can not
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
development of someone who write this poem.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
Use only "heavier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more heavier
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects. A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be a weapon for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
introverts and
they can damage
harmfully
.
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IELTS essay nowaday, sending children to boarding school (either in other countries or in one's own country) is becoming increasingly popular. Why is it? Is it a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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