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Gender discrimination of men and women in society and how they should change and what should we change in your opinion

Gender discrimination of men and women in society and how they should change and what should we change in your opinion p5RNa
In the topic we mainly discuss about how people are treated based on genders and given respect according to their gender not my their character or behavior. I strongly disagree with this discrimination which is playing major role in people's life. A person whether he/she should be given respect based on behavior or character or how he treats opposite person but, not by gender. are several sectors men and women are treated differently. Even there is improvement in education sector, there is no improvement in people minds. Every one has responsibility to eradicate this discrimination. No one is less, and no one is more in society. All are equal and have equal rights to make things which they feel right. Gender is just an entity which helps to identify person but, it is becoming major entity for getting respect. Most think uneducated sectors will have this differences but, mostly we can see discriminations in educated and uneducated sectors. Everyone should get respect without discriminations. When we have no gender discriminations then we can have proper support to people which helps individual and country growth.
In the topic we
mainly
Did you mean simply "discuss how"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are treated
based on genders and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
according to their gender not my their character or behavior. I
strongly
disagree with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
which is playing major role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life. A person whether he/she should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
based on behavior or character or how he treats opposite person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, not by gender.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
are
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women
are treated
differently
. Even there is improvement in education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, there is no improvement in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
minds. Every one has responsibility to eradicate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
. No one is less, and no one is more in society. All are equal and have equal rights to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things which they feel right. Gender is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an entity which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to identify person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it is becoming major entity for getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
uneducated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
will have this differences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
mostly
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discriminations
in educated and uneducated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
. Everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discriminations
. When we have no gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discriminations
then we can have proper support to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
individual and country growth.
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IELTS essay Gender discrimination of men and women in society and how they should change and what should we change in your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
184 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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