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Now days, People become more aware about their health due to degradation of its quality, and it also predict that standard of people's fitness may further reduce in the upcoming time, So in this essay, I discuss about both views of the topic, and I will keep my final stand at the end of essay.

Now days, People become more aware about their health due to degradation of its quality, and it also predict that standard of people's fitness may further reduce in the upcoming time, So in this essay, I discuss about both views of the topic, and I will keep my final stand at the end of essay. m81K8
Now days, People become more aware about their health due to degradation of its quality, and it also predict that standard of people's fitness may further reduce in the upcoming time, So in this essay, I discuss about both views of the topic, and I will keep my final stand at the end of essay. On the one hand, I strongly agree that the average standard of health of people is mostly fall in the future than now. the low quality of food is one of the main source of it. because, it does not contain require vitamins, minerals, elements as well as enough energy which require to keep body healthy. and the examples for this kind of foods are such as fast, processed and oily meal. On the other hand, Some people are even disagree to accept that current fitness of people going to reduce in future. the advancement in health care sector will improve the quality of people's well-being by different ways. For instance, evolution of internet, application of smart phones and smart watches have made life easy. these help users to keep track of their health and give reminder as per schedule timing of fitness activities. So, in this way, Some people believe that the fitness will going remain same in future also. In conclusion, I would like to say that both set of people have their own points of discussion. Unhealthy meal is main source of sickness. However, the improvement in technology of health sector assist us to maintain our fitness. I firmly agree that average fitness of people going to reduce in the future.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
become more aware about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
due to degradation of its quality, and it
also
Did you mean "predicts"?
predict
that standard of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
may
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
in the upcoming time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in this essay, I
Did you mean simply "discuss both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about both
views of the topic, and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
my final stand at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of essay.

On the one hand, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the average standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is
mostly
fall in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
low quality of food is one of the main source of it.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
, it does not contain require vitamins, minerals, elements
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
energy which require to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
body healthy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
the examples for this kind of foods are such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
, processed and oily meal.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are even
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
to accept that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care sector will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's well-being by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
For instance
, evolution of internet, application of smart phones and smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
have made life easy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
users to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and give reminder as per schedule timing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in this way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "go"
going
remain same in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
also
.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that both set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
points of discussion. Unhealthy meal is main source of sickness.
However
, the improvement in technology of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sector assist us to maintain our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
. I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
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IELTS essay Now days, People become more aware about their health due to degradation of its quality, and it also predict that standard of people's fitness may further reduce in the upcoming time, So in this essay, I discuss about both views of the topic, and I will keep my final stand at the end of essay.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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