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Now-a-days people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Now-a-days people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? kYbbO
At present people cant survive with out social media, there is a huge demand for social media, people will come to know the world news by sitting at one place mean while they are going to broaden their knowledge. There are some negative effects also due to which many people are facing the problems. In this essay I will elobrate both the views. Firstly, social media play a vital role in today generation, medias like facebook and whats app will helps a lot in to be in contact with each other it also helps to send the necessary files, pictures, etc. More over people living in foreign countries can also be in contact daily with there family or friends by whtas app video calling. Further more with the help of the news one will get updated what is happening in today's world and it also improves the general knowledge of the students. In other words if students are preparing for higher level competative exams then have to be update news daily. Secondly, there is a voice of disadvantages of social media, some people using social networking sites of illegal purpose. As they are making friends online on face book after getting close they are blackmailing the girls due to which many people facing a lot of problems. Further more they are hiking ids and asking money. Secondly they are posting dirty pics in their ids. To conclude there are more benefits of social media than dis advantages. Most people will focus towards advantages only so one have to use social medias very nicely and carefully.
At present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean "can't" or "cannot"?
cant
survive
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, there is a huge demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know the world news by sitting at one place
Did you mean "meanwhile"?
mean while
they are going to broaden their knowledge. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects
also
due to which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing the problems. In this essay I will
Possible spelling mistake found.
elobrate
both the views.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
play a vital role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
generation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medias
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and
Did you mean "WhatsApp" (= Messenger) or "what's up" (= question)?
whats app
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "help"
helps
a lot in to be in contact with each other it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the necessary files, pictures, etc. More over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in foreign countries can
also
be in contact daily with there family or friends by
Possible spelling mistake found.
whtas
app video calling.
Further
more with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the news one will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
updated what is happening in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world and it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the general knowledge of the students.
In other words
if students are preparing for higher level
Possible spelling mistake found.
competative
exams then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be update news daily.

Secondly
, there is a voice of disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites of illegal purpose. As they are making friends online on face book after getting close they are blackmailing the girls due to which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems.
Further
more they are hiking ids and asking money.
Secondly
they are posting dirty pics in their ids.

To conclude
there are more benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
than
Did you mean "this"?
dis
advantages. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will focus towards advantages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medias
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
nicely
and
carefully
.

IELTS essay Now-a-days people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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