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New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and have enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for a family when the mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and have enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for a family when the mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages? WyEEb
Thanks to the advent of those domestic / home appliances which are performing the vast majority of house chores, more and more women have been joining the workplace. I believe that this can bring about more benefits than drawbacks. It is true that women’s dedication towards their work may be detrimental to themselves. Automatic machines can reduce some of their burden. For example, using microwave ovens can reduce the time spent on cooking food and usage of washing machines can extricate women from daily laundry. However, women still have to be involved in looking after their babies and helping older children with their homework. Such involvement coupled with their daily job tasks reduces the time available for rest, and this will take a toll on their health and happiness. However, working mothers can create benefits for their families. To begin with, the additional income brought by the women enables the families to have better standard of living and makes even high ticket items like foreign vacations affordable to them. Besides, higher earning is also the prerequisites of their children’s access to high-quality education resources, such as private schools where kids can achieve better academic performance, since they can receive better guidance from experienced instructors. This increases their children’s chances of being admitted to reputable universities, which is extremely beneficial to their future development. In conclusion, while it is true that working women do not get much time for themselves, the additional income they bring in benefits the entire families.
Thanks to the advent of those domestic / home appliances which are performing the vast majority of
house
chores, more and more
women
have been joining the workplace. I believe that this can bring about more benefits than drawbacks.

It is true that
women’s
dedication towards their work may be detrimental to themselves. Automatic machines can
reduce
some
of their burden.
For example
, using microwave ovens can
reduce
the time spent on cooking food and usage of washing machines can extricate
women
from daily laundry.
However
,
women
still
have to
be involved
in looking after their babies and helping older children with their homework. Such involvement coupled with their daily job tasks
reduces
the time available for rest, and this will take a toll on their health and happiness.

However
, working mothers can create benefits for their families. To
begin
with, the additional income brought by the
women
enables the families to have better standard of living and
makes
even high ticket items like foreign vacations affordable to them.
Besides
, higher earning is
also
the prerequisites of their children’s access to high-quality education resources, such as private schools where kids can achieve better academic performance, since they can receive better guidance from experienced instructors. This increases their children’s chances of
being admitted
to reputable universities, which is
extremely
beneficial to their future development.

In conclusion
, while it is true that working
women
do not
get
much time for themselves, the additional income they bring in benefits the entire families.
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IELTS essay New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and have enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for a family when the mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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