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Now a days more and more people are spending less time at home Why do you think it happens What effect does this have on individuals and society v.1

Now a days more and more people are spending less time at home Why do you think it happens What effect does this have on individuals and society v. 1
These days people seldom find time to spend with their families at home. The majority of them are spending most of their time outside the home. This essay will discuss why this happens and its negative effects on individuals and society. The majority of people are working class, they spend most of their time in the office. The current day corporate world demands a greater number of working hours, which has almost become a direct measure of dedication and hard work, but in reality, the number of hours worked is not a real metric for one’s endeavors. Research suggests that most of the employees spend extra hours at work, however, they do not add any value to the employer. Although, they are losing their personal time, health and relations at the workplace, they don’t realize that it happens because they feel that working extra hours will benefit their appraisal. Individuals start experiencing problems in their personal life when they spend insignificant amount of time at home to fulfill daily chores. Which leads to deteriorating family relations, which can be evidenced by frequent quarrels with family members. When this continues for an extended period of time individuals will get distracted and may show this impact on society. For instance, if a person quarrels with his spouse and goes to the office he/she may have distracted driving, which is dangerous to the person himself /herself and society at large. Hence, one should balance their time between work and home. This essay has discussed why people are spending less time at home these days? And its deleterious effects on one’s personal life and society at large.
These days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
seldom find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with their families at home. The majority of them are spending most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
outside the home. This essay will discuss why this happens and its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on individuals and society.

The majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the office. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
day corporate world demands a greater number of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, which has almost become a direct measure of dedication and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in reality, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
worked is not a real metric for one’s endeavors. Research suggests that most of the employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
at work,
however
, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
any value to the employer. Although, they are losing their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, health and relations at the workplace, they don’t realize that it happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel that working extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
will benefit their appraisal.

Individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
experiencing problems in their personal life when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
insignificant amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home to fulfill daily chores. Which leads to deteriorating family relations, which can
be evidenced
by frequent quarrels with family members. When this continues for an extended period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
individuals will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted and may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
this impact on society.
For instance
, if a person quarrels with his spouse and goes to the office he/she may have distracted driving, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to the person himself /herself and society at large.
Hence
, one should balance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
between work and home.

This essay has discussed why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are spending less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home these days? And its deleterious effects on one’s personal life and society at large.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Now a days more and more people are spending less time at home Why do you think it happens What effect does this have on individuals and society v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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