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Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed? mPe8
Throughout the decades, employment is the source of money that you need to get the quality of live that you want. It can be divided to two sections: self-employment or working for a company or organization. Nowadays a lot of people prefer the first choice over the second one. This essay will discuss the reasons for this case and the dark side of being self-employed. Why many people prefer to be self-employed? You may wonder. Firstly, Being in this situation will make you feel more secure as well as raise you self-confidence. There is no manager or boss over you that can fire you whenever he wants; therefore, you feel insecure or stress. For instance, here in Egypt, if you work for 2 firms to get enough money for living, then one of them know that, the manager may fire you. Another reason, if you have your own company or start up, you will be able to improve your firm, make decisions in addition to managing the company in your own way. For exemplify, when you raise a start up in biofuel and biodiesel from wasted cooking oil, you will be responsible for the plan of this start up, choosing the right people who can participate as co-founders with you as well as the techniques of doing this process. But, nothing is without flaws, being the founder of your job, is a very serious situation. You will be responsible of several employees, publicizing your products and also you will face a lot of challenges during your journey. Of course it will make you over thinker and more stressed. For instance, you open a pharmaceutical company, then you get a serious problem that lead to close this firm. You be so depressed, also your employees will lose their job. Bottom line, you have to make your choice according to what matches your plan and skills, then go for it either being a self-employed or employee in a company.
Throughout the decades, employment is the source of money that you need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
that you want. It can
be divided
to two sections: self-employment or working for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or organization. Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer the
first
choice over the second one. This essay will discuss the reasons for this case and the dark side of being self-employed.

Why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to be self-employed? You may wonder.
Firstly
, Being in this situation will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you feel more secure
as well
as raise you self-confidence. There is no manager or boss over you that can fire you whenever he wants;
therefore
, you feel insecure or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
For instance
, here in Egypt, if you work for 2 firms to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money for living, then one of them know that, the manager may fire you.

Another reason, if you have your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up, you will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your firm,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
decisions
in addition
to managing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way. For exemplify, when you raise a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up in biofuel and biodiesel from wasted cooking oil, you will be responsible for the plan of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up, choosing the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who can participate as co-founders with you
as well
as the techniques of doing this process.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, nothing is without flaws, being the founder of your job, is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious situation. You will be
The usual collocations for "responsible" is "responsible for". Did you mean "responsible for" or "in charge of"?
responsible of
several employees, publicizing your products and
also
you will face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
challenges during your journey. Of
The comma is probably missing here: "course, it".
course it
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you over thinker and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.
For instance
, you open a pharmaceutical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, then you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a serious problem that lead to close this firm. You be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
depressed,
also
your employees will lose their job.

Bottom line, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
your choice according to what matches your plan and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, then go for it either being a self-employed or employee in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.

IELTS essay Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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