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Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Over a period of time, there are two types of people to identify their profession which are businessman or jober. While this decadesociety prefer to being self-employed less than to work under the pressure. I personally feel that high position in the private company is the best way to work than become failure. In this morden era, people have two option which first is they become their own boss. Meanwhile there is several benifits for businesses. Aditionally people have no stress for work as well as they do flexible schedule for the occupation. Moreover, independent businesses are not contribute any profit, as a outcomes is financial gain is higher than employed. Such as a human start their firm so that person works for own business, consequently net profit or loss of company is acceptable for them. In contrasts, there are numerous drawbacks to work for organisation. Where many people start their company for become self-employed but some middle class families can not affort investment of firm eventhough they take risk. Thus the chance to fail in the market is higher than gain of economy. For an example a person who open their agency but they can not manage the economy outstanding, lastly they close the business. To sums up, there are countable advantages and disadvantages as well to being owner of business. I admitted that it depending on individual what kind of life they want to live. Hence people choose their personal comfort zone what they can able to do.
Over a period of time, there are two types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to identify their profession which are businessman or
Possible spelling mistake found.
jober
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
this
Possible spelling mistake found.
decadesociety
prefer to
Did you mean “be”?
being
self-employed less than to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under the pressure. I
personally
feel that high position in the private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
than become failure.

In this
Possible spelling mistake found.
morden
era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
The expression ‘two option’ seems incorrect in this context.
two option
which
first
is they become their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
boss.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
there is several
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aditionally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as well
as they do flexible schedule for the occupation.
Moreover
, independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are not contribute any profit, as
The plural noun “outcomes” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a outcome” or “outcomes”?
a outcomes
is financial gain is higher than employed. Such as a human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
firm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that person works for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
consequently
net profit or loss of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is acceptable for them.

In contrasts, there are numerous drawbacks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organisation’ is British English.
organisation
. Where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for become self-employed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families can not
Possible spelling mistake found.
affort
investment of firm
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
they take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the chance to fail in the market is higher than gain of economy. For an example a person who open their agency
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can not manage the economy outstanding,
lastly
they close the business.

To sums up, there are countable advantages and disadvantages
as well
to being owner of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. I admitted that
A verb seems to be missing. Did you mean “it’s depending”, “it is depending”, or “it was depending”?
it depending
on individual what kind of life they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose their personal comfort zone what they
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
do.
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IELTS essay Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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