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Now a days individual spend more money on occasions like wedding and birthday parties. Number of reasons are responsible for this trend, however this trend can be reduced with corrective actions.

Now a days individual spend more money on occasions like wedding and birthday parties. Number of reasons are responsible for this trend, however this trend can be reduced with corrective actions. 2ld8b
To begin with, weddings and events are a good platform to show off their wealth. By the spend more money on celebrations people show off their wealth with designer clothes, expensive decorations, jewellery and make up. Then such as, marriage and baby shower occasions come only time in life. Therefore many couples and parents prefer to spend more in order to make. Because they want to became these celebrations more attractive from others. Moreover, in metropolitan cities such as delhi, Kolkata number of affluent peoples have billion i properties. Because they earn more money. If they spend more money on celebrations they do not mind. Because they have enough money. To commence with, there are number of solutions to reduce Money on celebrations. Firstly, individual should be create aware because by the awareness among people in order to remove Sense of competition among realtivies and friends. People should aware to finish competition with others. Secondly, if people gave granting loans by Banks for many occasions. Bank should be always give higher interest rate charge. They should increase interest on loans. Furthermore, if people have more money. They should not waste these money on celebrations. They utilize their money on poor people's and use this money on different purposes. To summarise up, people spend more money on celebrations for reputation, people maintain mentality and spend money on prodectative purposes.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, weddings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
platform to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their wealth. By the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their wealth with designer clothes, expensive decorations,
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up. Then such as, marriage and baby shower occasions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
time in life.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
couples and parents prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they want
Did you mean "to become"?
to became
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
more attractive from others.
Moreover
, in metropolitan cities such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
delhi
, Kolkata number of affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
have
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
i properties.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they earn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
they do not mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. To commence with, there are number of solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
.
Firstly
, individual should be
Consider using the past participle "created"?
create
aware
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by the awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order to remove Sense of competition among
Possible spelling mistake found.
realtivies
and friends.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
The word 'aware' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
should aware
to finish competition with others.
Secondly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gave granting loans by Banks for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
occasions. Bank should be always
Consider using a past participle here: "given".
give
higher interest rate charge. They should increase interest on loans.
Furthermore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. They should not waste these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
. They utilize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes. To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
for reputation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
maintain mentality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
prodectative
purposes.

IELTS essay Now a days individual spend more money on occasions like wedding and birthday parties. Number of reasons are responsible for this trend, however this trend can be reduced with corrective actions.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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