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Now a day, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people lived? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Now a day, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people lived? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
With the tremendous influence of modernisation, remarkable changes have taken place in current family structure and family values to such extent that, nowadays youngsters are motivated by parents to live alone as they grow up. However, some people are of the view that it is more practical for youngsters to live at home with their parents. On the one hand, there are numerous positive aspects of youth living alone, away from their parents. This concept provides a freedom to young people, give them the opportunity to handle their lives with their own ways and structure it with their own decisions. Moreover, living alone, not only makes them independent but makes them self reliance, which is an imperative skill for successful life and career. For instance, managing home chores such as cleaning, cooking, paying bills and many more, will make them well experienced at learning and managing diverse activities. Also, It aids to boost their self confidence. On the other hand, there are certain adverse effects of encouraging youngsters to live away from home. The major risk involves, having bad influence and such can lead to criminal activity or drug and alcohol addiction. While these situations could be easily avoided, if there is guidance and support from parents to youngsters in the decision making process. Moreover, living under the same roof makes the perfect family and adds to emotional family bonding and close relationship with each other. In my perspective, although to encourage youngsters to live alone may lead them to learn various life skills and managing abilities, but the negative aspects and risk involved outweigh the benefits.
With the tremendous influence of
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
, remarkable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have taken place in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
values to such extent that, nowadays youngsters
are motivated
by parents to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
as they grow up.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the view that it is more practical for youngsters to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
at home with their parents.

On the one hand, there are numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of youth living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, away from their parents. This concept provides
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "freedom".
a freedom
to young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, give them the opportunity to handle their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways and structure it with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions.
Moreover
, living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self reliance
, which is an imperative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
for successful life and career.
For instance
, managing home chores such as cleaning, cooking, paying bills and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more, will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them well experienced at learning and managing diverse activities.
Also
, It aids to boost their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
.

On the other hand
, there are certain adverse effects of encouraging youngsters to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
away from home. The major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
involves, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence and such can lead to criminal activity or drug and alcohol addiction. While these situations could be
easily
avoided, if there is guidance and support from parents to youngsters in the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process.
Moreover
, living under the same roof
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonding and close relationship with each other.

In my perspective, although to encourage youngsters to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
may lead them to learn various life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and managing abilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
involved outweigh the benefits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Now a day, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people lived? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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