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No doubt, children and mothers play crucial roles in each nation. So some masses trust that authorities should provide facilities when they were pregnant, whereas, a handful of masses assert that, it is not better for women. Therefore, I full agree with above-mentioned notion, and I will discuss it in the upcoming paragraphs.

No doubt, children and mothers play crucial roles in each nation. So some masses trust that authorities should provide facilities when they were pregnant, whereas, a handful of masses assert that, it is not better for women. Therefore, I full agree with above-mentioned notion, and I will discuss it in the upcoming paragraphs. aAGYV
To begin with, the administration confers monetary help to ladies in pregnancy time why. Firstly, women can not work properly at their delivery time also they face financial problems at this movement. Hence administration should give all women commercial help such as medical, ambulance-free injections so on. However, after delivery women have a huge need of government help because sometimes females have rely on their payment and they do not afford good economic conditions for them. For instance, authority give live to that woman who is a government worker. Therefore, ladies face numerous issues at that time which problems are solved by administration if the government provides good facilities to them. Furthermore, if ladies will go to their work after delivery then they can not face weakness also they do not focus on the growth of their baby. Moreover, sometimes many women suffer from many diseases after delivery. In other words, if the government wants diseases free nations then the state should render good facilities to women for their better health also bright future of everyone. To conclude, although some individuals do not favor in giving financial help to females. But I agree with this point of view because if women will glad then we can see bright future in every nation.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the administration confers monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to ladies in pregnancy time why.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can not work
properly
at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delivery
time
also
they face financial problems at this movement.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
administration should give all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
such as medical, ambulance-free injections
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delivery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have a huge need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
females have
Use past participle here: "relied".
rely
on their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
payment and
they do not afford
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
economic conditions for them.
For instance
, authority give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
to that woman who is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
worker.
Therefore
, ladies face numerous issues at that time which problems
are solved
by administration if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
facilities to them.
Furthermore
, if ladies will go to their work after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delivery
then they can not face weakness
also
they do not focus on the growth of their baby.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delivery
.
In other words
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
wants diseases free nations then the state should render
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
facilities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
for their better health
also
bright future of everyone.
To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals do not favor in giving financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to females.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
will glad then we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
bright future in every nation.
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IELTS essay No doubt, children and mothers play crucial roles in each nation. So some masses trust that authorities should provide facilities when they were pregnant, whereas, a handful of masses assert that, it is not better for women. Therefore, I full agree with above-mentioned notion, and I will discuss it in the upcoming paragraphs.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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