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New technologies have changed the way people spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the recent few decades, we have seen a rapid development of technology lead to change how people enjoy their spare time. Despite some obvious drawbacks of this trend, I believe that these are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand, as the result of developed technology, electronic games and the Internet became the common choices for people for leisure. However, it may cause some health problems when people devote too much time playing games and the Internet. For example, people who keep their eyes glued continuously to screens may suffer from eyestrain. In addition, it also effects on social relationships. Because these ways of entertainment are extremely addictive, they prefer to stay in their room playing games rather than hang out with their friends or families, lead to an isolated society. Although it has several downsides, I still believe new technology has brought a vast number of advantages for human-being. Due to the internet, people satisfy with different types of entertainment in spare time, such as watching movies, listening to music or learning different languages. Furthermore, video games also help people enhance some useful skills for their real life. Teamwork, as an example, which would be extremely useful in work and social life can be enhanced through an online game like Legends of League. In conclusion, it is true that there are disadvantages to new technology cause some problems in human life. But, in my views, the benefits of this modern trend are more significant for entertainment and development in their leisure time.
In the recent few decades, we have
seen
a rapid development of
technology
lead to
change
how
people
enjoy their spare
time
. Despite
some
obvious drawbacks of this trend, I believe that these
are outweighed
by the advantages.

On the one hand, as the result of developed
technology
, electronic
games
and the Internet became the common choices for
people
for leisure.
However
, it may cause
some
health problems when
people
devote too much
time
playing
games
and the Internet.
For example
,
people
who
keep
their eyes glued
continuously
to screens may suffer from eyestrain.
In addition
, it
also
effects on social relationships.
Because
these ways of entertainment are
extremely
addictive, they prefer to stay in their room playing
games
rather
than hang out with their friends or families, lead to an isolated society.

Although it has several downsides, I
still
believe new
technology
has brought a vast number of advantages for human-being. Due to the internet,
people
satisfy with
different
types of entertainment in spare
time
, such as watching movies, listening to music or learning
different
languages.
Furthermore
, video
games
also
help
people
enhance
some
useful
skills
for their real life. Teamwork, as an example, which would be
extremely
useful in work and social life can
be enhanced
through an online game like Legends of League.

In conclusion
, it is true that there are disadvantages to new
technology
cause
some
problems in human life.
But
, in my views, the benefits of this modern trend are more significant for entertainment and development in their leisure
time
.
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IELTS essay New technologies have changed the way people spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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