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More and more children are accessing the internet unsupervised at a younger age. This can sometimes put children at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the internet? How can that problem be solved?

Some people believe that online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion. It is claimed by an overwhelming majority of people that children should learn to read only by using online materials, while others believe that using printed materials is much more useful. I am of the opinion that both of them have their benefits and children should be given the chance to take advantage of both. There are some prominent reasons why online books and materials can be seen beneficial. Firstly, the availability of educational materials, including digital books, simulators and other materials provide the student with an ever accessible source of information, that it is not comparable with acquiring knowledge only by reading paper books. Moreover, acquiring knowledge through a computer is more fun and easy. This is because these days there are an increasing number of educational programs that are designed same as commercial games with different levels and rewards in order to increase children’s motivation for learning. On the other hand, printed books are still preferred by some people because some parents experience more engaging and enjoyments when reading printed books with their children. Furthermore, online materials give children answer to any question they have. Therefore, this trend leaves children lazy and lack of creativity and they become dependent on the internet to solve any problem they face. Whereas, conventional books have a profound impact on children’s developments. Because they encourage them to test the limits of their knowledge and abilities. And step by step they find confidence in themselves to solve problems and become resilient to challenges, and develop practical strategies to cope with the problem. In conclusion, it seems to me that both trends have negative and positive aspects and it is parents and teacher responsibility to ensure students take advantage of both.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It
is claimed
by an overwhelming majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
, while others believe that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
is much more useful. I am of the opinion that both of them have their benefits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the chance to take advantage of both.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prominent reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
beneficial.
Firstly
, the availability of educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
, including digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, simulators and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
provide the student with an ever accessible source of information, that it is not comparable with acquiring knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
by reading paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Moreover
, acquiring knowledge through a computer is more fun and easy. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these days there are an increasing number of educational programs that
are designed
same as commercial games with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels and rewards in order to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
motivation for learning.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
still
preferred by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents experience more engaging and enjoyments when reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
answer to any question they have.
Therefore
, this trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lazy and lack of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
creativity and
they become dependent on the internet to solve any problem they face.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have a profound impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
developments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
the limits of their knowledge and abilities. And step by step they find confidence in themselves to solve problems and become resilient to challenges, and develop practical strategies to cope with the problem.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that both trends have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
aspects and
it is parents and teacher responsibility to ensure students take advantage of both.
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IELTS essay More and more children are accessing the internet unsupervised at a younger age. This can sometimes put children at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the internet? How can that problem be solved?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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