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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? xkEg
Today technology has curb our generation by its great innovation in history and this has affected the children spending their leisure time also. This essay will argue that disadvantage outweigh the advantage. The essay will first demonstrate that children are being passive and followed by an analysis of how it can physically harm them. To begin with, Computers are becoming more popular to attract them to attribute to sedentary lifestyle. Sitting in one place and playing vedio games has become a hobby of children nowdays. They inhibit any work or sports that requires physical strength this can lead them to adopt lazy habit in future. Moreover, sitting in one settings alone with only technology has increased the loneliness and become unsocial. Children are likely to be reserved and anti social when they grow up. Statistics has shown that 5-20 years old tend to spend most time in gadgets than any other age groups. Another point to consider is that children can have problem with unhealthy body in future. More and more children are having eye sightdness problem in this young age. In addition, this can also cause determinatal performance in studies as vedio games tend to consume most of the children time. Moreover, there is no doubt that children in past and present have a huge difference in physical strength. Children today do not even considered to moving one place to another as they are hooked with games in one place. In conclusion, The greatest achievement in human has negatively impacted the children. I perceive, children using their leisure time has been misused.
Today
technology has curb our generation by its great innovation in history and this has
affected
the
children
spending their leisure
time
also
. This essay will argue that disadvantage outweigh the advantage. The essay will
first
demonstrate that
children
are being passive and followed by an analysis of how it can
physically
harm them. To
begin
with, Computers are becoming more popular to attract them to attribute to sedentary lifestyle. Sitting in one place and playing
vedio
games has become a hobby of
children
nowdays
. They inhibit any work or sports that requires physical strength this can lead them to adopt lazy habit
in future
.
Moreover
, sitting in
one settings
alone with
only
technology has increased the loneliness and become unsocial.
Children
are likely to
be reserved
and
anti social
when they grow up. Statistics has shown that 5-20 years
old
tend to spend most
time
in gadgets than any other age groups. Another point to consider is that
children
can have problem with unhealthy body
in future
. More and more
children
are having eye
sightdness
problem in this young age.
In addition
, this can
also
cause
determinatal
performance in studies as
vedio
games tend to consume most of the
children
time
.
Moreover
, there is no doubt that
children
in past and present have a huge difference in physical strength.
Children
today
do not even considered to moving one place to another as they
are hooked
with games in one place.
In conclusion
, The greatest achievement in human has
negatively
impacted the
children
. I perceive,
children
using their leisure
time
has
been misused
.
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IELTS essay New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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