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New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. with this opinion? LYj6
Nowadays, every part of the world relies on modern machines. Some people believe that the latest technologies and various kinds of techniques of purchasing and selling are creating the new behaviour of consumers. In my opinion, I completely agree with this perspective due to advancement of technology and time efficiency. On the one hand, technology is getting better day by day and as a human, our desires will never end. As a result, people should start to live according to their choice. For instance, Tesla, an automated car manufacturer company which makes a car using artificial intelligence. This type of car you don't need to drive. In other words, It is beneficial for the whole society since everyone needs comfort furthermore it will reduce the number of car accidents. However, On the other hand, people have started buying items from E-commerce websites Such as Amazon, Flipkart, Paytm etcetera. Most individuals prefer to buy anything from an online store rather than going to a physical store. It does not only save your time but also you will get some discount on the same item as well. for example, last year, I went to a shopping mall where I asked the Nike backpack price and the seller told me that the price was 1500 rupees but the same backpack I bought 1000 rupees in the online portal. It is necessary for those who do not have much time to go shopping. In Conclusion, I must say that all the changes are extremely positive. Moreover, the reasons and examples add strength to my opinion.
Nowadays, every part of the world relies on modern machines.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the latest technologies and various kinds of techniques of purchasing and selling are creating the new
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of consumers. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this perspective due to advancement of technology and time efficiency.

On the one hand, technology is getting better day by day and as a human, our desires will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
according to their choice.
For instance
, Tesla, an automated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
manufacturer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
using artificial intelligence. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
you don't need to drive.
In other words
, It is beneficial for the whole society since everyone needs
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "comforts", "comforted".
comfort
furthermore
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
accidents.

However
,
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
buying items from E-commerce websites Such as Amazon, Flipkart,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Paytm
etcetera. Most individuals prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything from an online store
rather
than going to a physical store. It does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
save your time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
discount on the same item
as well
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, last year, I went to a shopping mall where I asked the Nike backpack price and the seller
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that the price was 1500 rupees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the same backpack I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
1000 rupees in the online portal. It is necessary for those who do not have much time to go shopping.

In Conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say that all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
Moreover
, the reasons and examples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
strength to my opinion.
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IELTS essay New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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