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New parents need a parenting course to efficiently nurture their children to what extent do you agree or disagree

New parents need a parenting course to efficiently nurture their children 3LPel
Nowadays, new parents should attend a parenting course for nourishment of their offspring in the better way. I partially agree with this statement and I will discuss my view points in my subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, there are alot of benefits if parents will know about parenting course. The first and the foremost, if new parents are attended parenting course, then they can do nourishment of their kids will be more healthier. Consequently, healthy children can do their work very efficiently as compared unhealthy kids. So, that is why parenting course is very essential for new parents. Secondly, parents are first teacher of their offsprings and almost all kids imitate their parents and they learn about many things through imitation. Therefore, if parents are learnt parenting course, then they cannot only teach them about good habits but also they can develop their personality as well as good behaviour. On the other hand, apart from learning parenting course, parents can do many other things. Firstly, instead of waste their time in parenting course, they should focus on their jobs to earn more money aaa. So that, they can give proper nourishment and good amenities to their children in this modern era. Moreover, for their kids, they can hire specialist such as nanny etcetera to good nurture and their offsprings can become more healthier. To sum up, although parenting course are very beneficial for new parents, besides this course, they can do many things for nourishment of their offsprings. Nowadays, new parents should attend a parenting course for nourishment of their offspring in the better way. I partially agree with this statement and I will discuss my view points in my subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, there are alot of benefits if parents will know about parenting course. The first and the foremost, if new parents are attended parenting course, then they can do nourishment of their kids will be more healthier. Consequently, healthy children can do their work very efficiently as compared unhealthy kids. So, that is why parenting course is very essential for new parents. Secondly, parents are first teacher of their offsprings and almost all kids imitate their parents and they learn about many things through imitation. Therefore, if parents are learnt parenting course, then they cannot only teach them about good habits but also they can develop their personality as well as good behaviour. On the other hand, apart from learning parenting course, parents can do many other things. Firstly, instead of waste their time in parenting course, they should focus on their jobs to earn more money aaa. So that, they can give proper nourishment and good amenities to their children in this modern era. Moreover, for their kids, they can hire specialist such as nanny etcetera to good nurture and their offsprings can become more healthier. To sum up, although parenting course are very beneficial for new parents, besides this course, they can do many things for nourishment of their offsprings.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should attend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nourishment
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offspring
in the better way. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I will discuss my view points in my subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with, there
Possible spelling mistake found.
are alot
of benefits if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
and the foremost, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, then they can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nourishment
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
will be
Use only "healthier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more healthier
.
Consequently
, healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can do their work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficiently
as compared unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
that is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
teacher of their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
and almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
imitate their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parents and
they learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things through imitation.
Therefore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
If 'learnt' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to parent".
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, then they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
teach them about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
habits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can develop their personality
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, apart from learning
If 'learning' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to parent".
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things.
Firstly
,
instead
of waste their time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, they should focus on their jobs to earn more money
Possible spelling mistake found.
aaa
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, they can give proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nourishment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
amenities to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in this modern era.
Moreover
, for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, they can hire specialist such as nanny etcetera to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
nurture and their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings can
become
Use only "healthier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more healthier
.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
besides
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nourishment
of their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should attend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nourishment
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offspring
in the better way. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I will discuss my view points in my subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with, there
Possible spelling mistake found.
are alot
of benefits if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
and the foremost, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are attended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, then they can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nourishment
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
will be
Use only "healthier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more healthier
.
Consequently
, healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can do their work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficiently
as compared unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
that is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
teacher of their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
and almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
imitate their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parents and
they learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things through imitation.
Therefore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
If 'learnt' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to parent".
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, then they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
teach them about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
habits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can develop their personality
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, apart from learning
If 'learning' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to parent".
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things.
Firstly
,
instead
of waste their time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, they should focus on their jobs to earn more money
Possible spelling mistake found.
aaa
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, they can give proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nourishment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
amenities to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in this modern era.
Moreover
, for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, they can hire specialist such as nanny etcetera to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
nurture and their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings can
become
Use only "healthier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more healthier
.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
besides
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nourishment
of their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
.
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IELTS essay New parents need a parenting course to efficiently nurture their children

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
496 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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