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narrative writing about deer hunting

narrative writing about deer hunting XG9Vw

Me and my grandmother were going deer hunting in their deer stand. We were waiting for 3hours then I fell asleep in the stand. 2hours later my grandmother saw something in the woods, it was a deer! She woke me up and I saw the deer. The deer was a spick and it was small deer. Back to me and my grandmother, so i woke up i and was nervous my heart was racing like i not joking my heart was literally trying to came out of my chest, so i shoot the crossbow i was not looking and my grandmother was lookinglooking but i wasn't, so I shoot and I miss the deer which sucks. I was so mad I didn’t haut again and I was like MAD!

When referring to yourself and somebody else, put their name first. Also check whether the nominative form "I" is required here.I
Me
 and my You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmatriarchancestorgrannygrandma
grandmother
 were going deer hunting in their deer stand. We were waiting for 3hours then I fell asleep in the stand. 2hours later my You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmatriarchancestorgrannygrandma
grandmother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witnessed
saw
 something in the woods, it was a deer! She woke me up and I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witnessed
saw
 the deer. The deer was a This word is considered offensive.
spick
 and it was This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:tiny
small
 deer. Back to me and my You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmatriarchancestorgrannygrandma
grandmother
, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.I
i
 woke up i and was nervous my heart was racing like Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.I
i
 not joking my heart was literally
 trying to Did you mean "come"?come
came
 out of my chest, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.I
i
 shoot the crossbow Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.I
i
 was not looking and my You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmatriarchancestorgrannygrandma
grandmother
 was Possible spelling mistake found.looking looking
lookinglooking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.I
i
 wasn't, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 I shoot and I miss the deer which sucks. I was This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 mad I didn’t Possible spelling mistake found.hathaltHarthaulhuthaunt
haut
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).again, and
again and
 I was like MAD! 