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narrative essay :: write an essay about your unforgetable memory

narrative essay: : write an essay about your unforgetable memory kxBBK

What has made its mark in your life? For me, I had a vacation which I remember exactly. This is wonderful traveling with my friends at Sam Son beach last year. The trip started on Saturday and finished on evening Sunday. Before we started, we prepared a lot of essential things carefully such as food, drinks, clothes, etc. On the first day, we hit the beach to enjoy lovely scenery which we had to take a photo, sunbathe, build a sandcastle together to keep the memory. While we were holding a party that evening, it suddenly started to rain heavily. Unfortunately, Huong – my friend had suddenly fainted because she caught a cold. There is no the hospital near the beach so we could not call the ambulance. We had to ask people for help and a kind person immediately appeared to first aid Huong. Fortunately, Huong was resuscitated and we took her to come to the room. The next day, the ambulance came and took her to the hospital. When Huong was well again, we came back home. After finishing the trip, we felt extremely sad because of missing wonderful things which we hadn't completed yet. We hope that we will come back to this place soon to enjoy amazing activities.

What has made its mark in your life? For me, I had a vacation which I remember exactly. This is wonderful traveling with my friends at Sam Son beach ‘last year’ indicates a finished event of the past. Please check the predicate's tense.
last year
.

The trip This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiated
started
 on Saturday and finished on evening Sunday. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
Before
 we This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiated
started
, we prepared This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
a lot of
 essential things carefully
 such as food, drinks, clothes, etc. On the first
 day, we hit the beach to enjoy lovely scenery which we had to take a photo, sunbathe, build a sandcastle together to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :retain
keep
 the memory. While we were holding a party that evening, it suddenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiated
started
 to rain heavily
. Unfortunately, Possible spelling mistake found.HungHuangHmongHong
Huong
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.—
–
 my friend had suddenly
 fainted This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 she caught a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :chillyfrosty
cold
. There is Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?now
no
 the hospital near the beach This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 we could not call the ambulance. We had to ask This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 for This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 and a kind person immediately appeared to first
 aid Possible spelling mistake found.HungHuangHmongHong
Huong
. Fortunately
, Possible spelling mistake found.HungHuangHmongHong
Huong
 was Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).resuscitated, and
resuscitated and
 we took her to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :approacharrive
come
 to the room. The next
 day, the ambulance came and took her to the hospital. When Possible spelling mistake found.HungHuangHmongHong
Huong
 was well again, we came back home.

After finishing the trip, we felt extremely
 sad This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 of missing wonderful things which we hadn't completed yet
. We hope that we will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :approacharrive
come
 back to this place This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:in the near future
soon
 to enjoy amazing activities. 