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in many countries have sever problem with students behavior.

in many countries have sever problem with students behavior. paoG3
Students are learned a lot of education and life skills by school. Nevertheless they struggled opposite the teachers and in that occurance has been spreading signifincantly, which unconscious pupils makes complicated the parents, and teachers. Nowadays, named by generation z, who are living between massive development of technology, has changed a behavioral, life style, psycological problems, and diverse point of view from another older generations. They have been spending time to playing video games, travelling all of the internet's interactions and nurturing by online stuffs, not parents. Due to, parents interaction to their children had decreased, they are just doing their jobs a whole day, and learn about contents on webs without distinct of bad or good, indeed, at this time, young kids have been killing a time one third of a everlasting day, which is terrible quantity statistic, that they are watching everything in the internet without judgement what they watch. Therefore children might be try experience on cyberspace at school environment. They are just following the internet's awful exemplify, or due to parent's poor act to as a unconscious their children. Certainly, mothers and fathers should make conversation to warn two side /disadvantage and advantage/ to consume, monitor their children's what they watch, observe how they spending time, and teach how to respect other person as older than them. Young people are must known about how be a good member on the society, by their parents. The more educated person, or explorer of the some online platforms avoid the pay out on the hyperspace by their own kids, because they know entire algorithm of cyperspace, for instance, founder of the Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg said that in the interview, " I just want to, play ground is played by my kids, rather than smart phones are used". Those issues which is students behave unpleasant will have improve at school, cause of guardian and surroundings. To sum up, in this century, due to of technology development and diminish of control to the kids, youth pupils have been acting out strangely to teachers or whoever. If the moms and dads could care about their children more, teenagers would not act the worst intensively.
Students
are learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
education and life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by school.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
they struggled opposite the teachers and in that
Possible spelling mistake found.
occurance
has been spreading
Possible spelling mistake found.
signifincantly
, which unconscious pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
complicated the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, and teachers. Nowadays, named by generation z, who are living between massive development of technology, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a behavioral, life style,
Possible spelling mistake found.
psycological
problems, and diverse point of view from another older generations. They have been spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to playing video games, travelling
Consider using "all the".
all of the
internet's interactions and nurturing by online stuffs, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Due to,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
interaction to their children had decreased, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
doing their jobs a whole day, and learn about contents on webs without distinct of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
indeed
, at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
have been killing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
one third of
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
everlasting day, which is terrible quantity statistic, that they are watching everything
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
without judgement what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
children might be try experience on cyberspace at school environment. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
following the internet's awful exemplify, or due to parent's poor act to as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
unconscious their children.

Certainly
, mothers and fathers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
conversation to warn two side /disadvantage and advantage/ to consume, monitor their children's what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, observe how
Did you mean "they're spending", "they are spending", or "they were spending"?
they spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and teach how to respect other person as older than them. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Did you mean "have known" or "know"?
known
about how be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
member on the society, by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. The more educated person, or explorer of the
Did you mean "same"?
some
online platforms avoid the pay out on the hyperspace by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know entire algorithm of
Possible spelling mistake found.
cyperspace
,
for instance
, founder of the Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg said that in the interview,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to, play ground
is played
by my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
,
rather
than smart phones are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. Those issues which is students behave unpleasant will have
Use past participle here: "improved".
improve
at school, cause of guardian and surroundings. To sum up, in this century, due to of technology development and diminish of control to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, youth pupils have been acting out
strangely
to teachers or whoever. If the moms and dads could care about their children more,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
would not act the worst
intensively
.
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IELTS essay in many countries have sever problem with students behavior.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
362 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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