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n some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

n some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this 2bbDA
In few nations, working or travelling for a year before pursuing university studies is becoming quite common among youngsters after completing their high school studies. This trend would create certain benefits, there will also be some drawbacks. By taking a gap year for working or travelling after high school, student can gain valuable experience. When young one work or travel, they explore great opportunities to interact with people from different aspects of life and it enables to understand how to tackle various life situations. Such experiences help them to overcome the inevitable challenges they are supposed to face, when in eventually start working. Another advantages is that younger can get relaxed after studying hard. During this time, they can enjoy the life by doing activities in which they have interest, such as taking part in sports, camping to raise the fund or volunteer works etcetera. Thus, there are several benefits of taking break between study. Beside this taking a gap year would bring several disadvantages. Prefer to do work or travel before university education creates a gap between study. Student may face challenges to return back to study as they may find working more important or interesting when start earning. Eventually, they will give less importance to study. Unfortunately, this will effect on their career because without having good qualifications, it nearly impossible to find a superior job. Therefore, gap year can seriously affect the career prospects of students who lose their focus on studies. In conclusion, there are both merits and demerits to taking a year break after high school. Hence, it can be beneficial for students who resume their studies but start after enhancing various skills. However, it is detrimental for those who fails to continue their educations.
In few nations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
or travelling for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
pursuing university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
is becoming quite common among youngsters after completing their high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. This trend would create certain benefits, there will
also
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.

By taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
or travelling after high school,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can gain valuable experience. When young one work or travel, they explore great opportunities to interact with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of life and it enables to understand how to tackle various life situations. Such experiences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to overcome the inevitable challenges they
are supposed
to face, when in
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. Another advantages
You should probably use: "are".
is
that younger can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxed after studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. During this time, they can enjoy the life by doing activities in which they have interest, such as taking part in sports, camping to raise the fund or volunteer works etcetera.
Thus
, there are several benefits of taking break between study.

Beside this taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
would bring several disadvantages. Prefer to do work or travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
university education creates a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
may face challenges to
Consider using "return".
return back
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
as they may find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
or interesting when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning.
Eventually
, they will give less importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. Unfortunately, this will
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on their career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualifications,
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
nearly
impossible to find a superior job.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
can
seriously
affect the career prospects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who lose their focus on studies.

In conclusion
, there are both merits and demerits to taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
break after high school.
Hence
, it can be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who resume their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
after enhancing various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
However
, it is detrimental for those who fails to continue their educations.
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IELTS essay n some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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