Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

My name is Dinara Son, I graduated from Kazakh National Medical University

My name is Dinara Son, I graduated from Kazakh National Medical University rGobL
My name is Dinara Son, I graduated from Kazakh National Medical University in 2009. I got a Master degree and I am a PhD candidate in Public Health. I have been working at KazNMU since 2013 as a lecturer. I like studying and teaching. This advanced training is a unique possibility to take up-to-date information in epidemiology and biostatistics for improving my knowledge and skills. I am interested in a foundation in modern epidemiology to be at the forefront in this subject, which I teach to my students. In selecting the University of Albany, I have been influenced by the way PhD research program addresses CVD. I am particularly looking forward to such courses as Biostatistics. I am also excited to interact with Professors whose work is closest to what I want to pursue for the original research component of the MS degree. I have been corresponding with current and former students, from whom I have learned about the collaborative environment at University where I can interact with teachers, industry professionals and talented students. I believe that I will be able to learn from the academically challenging environment at the University of Albany. I am going to continue my academic career as a lecturer and scientist at KazNMU. My professional skills at the Department of Health Policy and Management would help me. I was responsible for the scientific activities of teachers and students. I was engaged in correspondence with visiting professors from different countries: Czech Republic, Taiwan, Japan, Canada. I took part in international seminars and conferences. This was a great communication experience and an opportunity to touch modern science. I have lots of scientific publications at public health sphere. I strongly believe that this program will help me and my like-minded persons to improve quality of researches in Kazakhstan, make studies closer to international standards and, therefore, publish study outcomes in international peer-reviewed journals. Now I need high-quality international knowledge and I would like to share it with my students. Knowing the basics of epidemiology can reduce the number of socially significant diseases and improve the quality of life of our population. I have no doubt that my unmatched enthusiasm and eagerness to learn can take the course to new heights. I’ve attached my resume, which further details my skills and involvement in the community. Please do not hesitate to reach out if you have any questions about my background. I look forward to the opportunity to speak with you further; thank you for your time and consideration.
My name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dinara
Son, I graduated from Kazakh National Medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
in 2009. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a Master
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
degree and
I am a PhD candidate in Public Health. I have been working at
Possible spelling mistake found.
KazNMU
since 2013 as a lecturer.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
like studying and teaching. This advanced training is a unique possibility to take up-to-date information in epidemiology and biostatistics for improving my knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

I
am interested
in a foundation in modern epidemiology to be at the forefront in this subject, which I teach to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In selecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Albany, I have
been influenced
by the way PhD research program addresses CVD. I am
particularly
looking forward to such courses as Biostatistics. I am
also
excited to interact with Professors whose work is closest to what I want to pursue for the original research component of the MS degree.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have been corresponding with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
and former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, from whom I have learned about the collaborative environment at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
where I can interact with teachers, industry professionals and talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
believe that I will be able to learn from the
academically
challenging environment at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Albany.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am going to continue my academic career as a lecturer and scientist at
Possible spelling mistake found.
KazNMU
. My professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at the Department of Health Policy and Management would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me. I was responsible for the scientific activities of teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I
was engaged
in correspondence with visiting professors from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries: Czech Republic, Taiwan, Japan, Canada.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
seminars and conferences. This was a great communication experience and an opportunity to touch modern science. I have lots of scientific publications at public health sphere. I
strongly
believe that this program will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me and my like-minded persons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of researches in Kazakhstan,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
studies closer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
standards and,
therefore
, publish study outcomes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
peer-reviewed journals.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I need high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
knowledge and I would like to share it with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Knowing the basics of epidemiology can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
socially
significant diseases and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life of our population. I have no doubt that my unmatched enthusiasm and eagerness to learn can take the course to new heights.

I’ve attached my resume, which
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and involvement in the community.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
do not hesitate to reach out if you have any questions about my background. I look forward to the opportunity to speak with you
further
; thank you for your time and consideration.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay My name is Dinara Son, I graduated from Kazakh National Medical University

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
419 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • My name is Dinara Son, I graduated from Kazakh National Medical University