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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? My lifestyle is easier and more comfortable than the one my grandparents experienced when they were young. Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

My lifestyle is easier and more comfortable than the one my grandparents experienced when they were young. Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. m5AJN
the technology has been developing rapidly in the world, the new generation has been elaborating on their grandparents’ life of the past because everybody had been more friendly with one another. Whereas, in that time, the public had to get along with others because they had to continue their lives under inconvenient conditions. Therefore, I agree that my life is relatively easier and more comfortable than my grandparents' puberty. Principally, I have been earning plenty of money which is effortlessly according to my grandparents as I have been working only for 8 hours a day. On top of this fact, I have not been even endeavoring much. While I use an only computer, I earn almost 20 thousand liras per month. Yet, my grandparents had worked much hard from dawn until midnight by dealing with their animals and farms, and the money they had earned was a very insignificant amount. To exemplify, when my grandparents came to my home, they told to me their young age experiences. They usually woke at 5 a. m. . They firstly gave the chaff to their animals and cleaned the barn. Afterward, they went cultivating their farm under sunlight all day long. Circumstantially, with the advent of new technologic appliances, my lifestyle is fabulously relaxed and calm. I have lots of appliances from a smartphone, microwave, toaster to washing machine, dishwasher. With a smartphone, I have been paying my all debts with a button on the internet easily without going to a bank. With kitchen gadgets, I cook readily, and never wash dishes with my bare hands. These devices decrease my workload conspicuously. For instance, while my grand family was young, they halfheartedly did the laundry of the whole family with their hands for almost 5 hours. Additionally, They became warmer with the stove by filling coal and wood in it, and only the one of rooms got hot where they did all activities, such as sleeping and eating. To sum up, I believe that in today's world, the invention of new appliances helps me do many activities at the same time easily. Hereat, I agree that I have an easier and more comfortable lifestyle than my grandparents had. forwhy, I can both earn money comfortably, and use a range of resources more efficiently, compared with the past time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
technology has been developing
rapidly
in the world, the new generation has been elaborating on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents’
life of the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everybody had been more friendly with one another. Whereas, in that time, the public had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they had to continue their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
under inconvenient conditions.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that my life is
relatively
easier and more comfortable than my grandparents' puberty.

Principally
, I have been earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of money which is
effortlessly
according to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
as I have been working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for 8 hours a day. On top of this fact, I have not been even endeavoring much. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
computer, I earn almost 20 thousand
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lire", the plural form of the noun 'lira'?
liras
per month.
Yet
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
had worked much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
from dawn until midnight by dealing with their animals and farms, and the money they had earned was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
insignificant amount. To exemplify, when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
came to my home, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
The verb 'to tell someone' does not require a preposition.
to me
their young age experiences. They
usually
woke at 5 a. m.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
They
firstly
gave the chaff to their animals and cleaned the barn. Afterward, they went cultivating their farm under sunlight all day long.

Circumstantially
, with the advent of new
Possible spelling mistake found.
technologic
appliances, my lifestyle is
fabulously
relaxed and calm. I have lots of appliances from a smartphone, microwave, toaster to washing machine, dishwasher. With a smartphone, I have been paying my all debts with a button on the internet
easily
without going to a bank. With kitchen gadgets, I cook
readily
, and never wash dishes with my bare hands. These devices decrease my workload
conspicuously
.
For instance
, while my grand family was young, they
halfheartedly
did the laundry of the whole family with their hands for almost 5 hours.
Additionally
, They became warmer with the stove by filling coal and wood in it, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the one of rooms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
hot where they did all activities, such as sleeping and eating.

To sum up, I believe that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, the invention of new appliances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities at the same time
easily
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hereat
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that I have an easier and more comfortable lifestyle than my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
had.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
forwhy
, I can both earn money
comfortably
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a range of resources more
efficiently
, compared with the
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
.

IELTS essay My lifestyle is easier and more comfortable than the one my grandparents experienced when they were young. Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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