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Within the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this is a good step forward while others do not. What are the benefits and drawbacks of this trend?

Within the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this is a good step forward while others do not. What are the benefits and drawbacks of this trend? Aa2Ve
With the advancement of technology, nowadays we can get information and entertainment on the internet with couple of click buttons. And so, majority of people prefer reading e-books to reading paper books. In this condition, there are several benefits and drawbacks of reading e-books and this trend will be discussed in this essay. First of all, let us show many conveniences of reading e-books. Firstly, you can find any books online without going out and by this way, you don't waste your time to travel for finding necessary book out. So you do not have to go to bookstores. However, it has enough disadvantages in reading online. In fact, reading more and more online books affects your eyesight and as a result, it makes you have short-sighted desease. On the other hand, paper books are more comfortable compared with e-books. For instance, one of the basic is do not need good internet connection. In addition, you do not have to use good gadgets like computer, iPad, mobile phones etc. Moreover, some people keen on reading paper books, as they can get satisfaction by this way. But, it is true that not everyone has the same condition. Some people may not buy all books which are necessary indeed. Taking everything into consideration, reading e-books and paper books have own pros and cons specifically. However, nowadays youngsters need e-books more because of lack of time. So I believe that its benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
With the advancement of technology, nowadays we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information and entertainment on the internet with couple of click buttons. And
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so
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer
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reading
e-books to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. In this condition, there are several benefits and drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
e-books and this trend will
be discussed
in this essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
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let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conveniences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
e-books.
Firstly
, you can find any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
online without going out and by this way, you don't waste your time to travel for finding necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
out.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
you do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to bookstores.
However
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
disadvantages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
online. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
more and more online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
affects your eyesight and
as a result
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you have short-sighted
Possible spelling mistake found.
desease
.

On the other hand
, paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are more comfortable compared with e-books.
For instance
, one of the basic is
Consider using a past participle here: "done".
do
not need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
internet connection.
In addition
, you do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
gadgets like computer, iPad, mobile phones etc.
Moreover
,
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
keen on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
satisfaction by this way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it is true that not everyone has the same condition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which are necessary
indeed
.

Taking everything into consideration,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
e-books and paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons
specifically
.
However
, nowadays youngsters need e-books more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I believe that its benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
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IELTS essay Within the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this is a good step forward while others do not. What are the benefits and drawbacks of this trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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