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Government should invest more in science education rather than other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Government should invest more in science education rather than other subjects. 8JkpB
In this contemporary era, higher authorities ought to invest much funds in science education than other subjects. To recaptulate my opinion, then, I am strongly not agree with this point of view, as each subject have equal importance of their own, nextly, it leads to unemployment at some extent. To commence with the benefit of this approach to the country is that it enhance scientific technology and field, which is must in each area of the globe. To elaborate it, it increase the robotics, mechanics etcetera, as much as, they also deal with the convenience of the individuals of this period of time, because in nowadays all are depend upon new technological gadgets and medicine are also come from that field of science which we called medical stream, in simple words, our all the world are hovered around science. So, that is the reason that why government is spending in this particular area. Let's take an look in the demerits of this scheme of regime that is every subject have same essentiality as of others. To explain it, as we read different subjects in every class which contain another piece of Knowledge related to our life and cover distinctive aspects of life. For instance, in India all institutes teach types of languages and kind of subjects such as, Hindi, Punjabi, English, c++, Java etcetera. Thus, it can be said that all the subjects are needed in life, if there is which is used by us to calculate remuneration, as well as, in science there is one subject is physics in which maths plays an crucial role. Is there is any other point to strengthen my views? By all means, it is becoming a great cause of unemployment for collosal individuals. To explicate it, if there is only one subject is in demand, then, definitely, others subjects are dropped down by humanity, due to this, number of others region teachers loss their jobs, by this, economy of country may be decline. For example, if we are learn only one subject then what is about our dreams and interests? In Canada music school learners are get escalated and all the students consider to learn music, that is why, the economic condition of the nation is seen nose dive in the year 1860, is is said by survey experts and they also said teachers employment is also gone. Therefore, there is need of all the subjects not only one. In conclusion, policy makers should make their policy in the favour of all the subjects. Due to favouring only one subject plethora of teaching staff losses their career and according to me all subjects are vital and all are having crucial in there places.
In this contemporary era, higher authorities ought to invest
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
funds in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
education than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
recaptulate
my opinion, then, I am
strongly
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view, as each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
have equal importance of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
nextly
, it leads to unemployment at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

To commence with the benefit of this approach to the country is that it enhance scientific technology and field, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in each area of the globe.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
To
elaborate it, it
Did you mean "increases"?
increase
the robotics, mechanics etcetera, as much as, they
also
deal with the convenience of the individuals of this period of time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
in nowadays
all are
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
upon new technological gadgets and medicine are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from that field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
which we called medical stream, in simple words, our all the world
are hovered
around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
that is
the reason that why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is spending in this particular area.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's take
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
look in the demerits of this scheme of regime
that is
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
have same
Possible spelling mistake found.
essentiality
as of others. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, as we read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
which contain another piece of Knowledge related to our life and cover distinctive aspects of life.
For instance
, in India all institutes teach types of languages and kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as, Hindi, Punjabi, English, c++, Java etcetera.
Thus
, it can
be said
that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are needed
in life, if there is which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by us to calculate remuneration,
as well
as, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
there is one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is physics in which
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "play".
plays
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
crucial role.

Is there is any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
point to strengthen my views? By all means, it is becoming a great cause of unemployment for
Possible spelling mistake found.
collosal
individuals. To explicate it, if there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is in demand, then, definitely, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "dropped".
dropped down
by humanity, due to this, number of others region teachers loss their jobs, by this, economy of country may be decline.
For example
, if we are
Consider using a past participle here: "learned", "learnt".
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
then what is about our dreams and interests? In Canada music school learners are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
escalated and all the students
The verb 'consider' is used with the gerund form: "consider learning".
consider to learn
music,
that is
why, the economic condition of the nation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
nose dive in the year 1860, is
is said
by survey
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experts and
they
also
said teachers employment is
also
gone.
Therefore
, there
is need
of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one.

In conclusion
,
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy makers
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their policy in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
plethora of teaching staff losses their career and according to me all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are vital and all are having crucial in
Did you mean "their"?
there
places.
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IELTS essay Government should invest more in science education rather than other subjects.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
450 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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