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My inspiring woman is my GrandMother, Rachel David.

My inspiring woman is my GrandMother, Rachel David. mgkd
My inspiring woman is my GrandMother, Rachel David. So I will tell you all about a real-life incident where I got so inspired by her. May 3, 2003 It was vacation time and my mom dropped me at my grandparent's house. I was happy as I like to stay there. During the night I was sitting in a small chair in the kitchen and was waiting to eat Ammachi's special fish fry. Usually, she gives big pieces to us, but this time I could see she is keeping big pieces on a separate plate and going to the Appachan room. Appachan was ill and was all set to go to the hospital, the next day. We all ate dinner and slept. Around, midnight, Ammachi came near me and said Appachan is not well and asked me to call my parents. I tried to dial the numbers on the landline but the call did not connect, I tried a few other numbers of my cousins. But no calls got connected. So Ammachi took a torch and said to me keep trying to get connected to someone on the phone and let them know the Appachan is not well. She went outside of the house and walked towards my cousin's house. So my cousin's house is around 600 m from ours and had to cross a rubber estate to reach there as the short cut and nearest neighbour After some time, I can hear loud cries from my cousin uncle who sat in our living room and crying and said Appachan is gone. I was shocked for a moment, was thinking what this uncle is saying, how he knows Appachan is dead without even touching him. Finally, I came to know the truth which shook me for a moment. Ammachi already knew that he is no more before she woke me up from the bed. I looked at Ammachi who was sitting near her lost husband. She was so calm and could see her keeping her emotions down to the minimum. She showed immense courage in this situation. For a normal person itself, it too hard to go through that rubber estate after 6 pm. But she managed to walk those 600 m during midnight knowing her husband has left this world. I once asked her how she was able to do that and she replied to me "We decide our fear and weakness". I am not sure whether this story fits the criteria of challenging injustice or questioned stereotypes, but this definetly a
My inspiring woman is my
Possible spelling mistake found.
GrandMother
, Rachel David.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you all about a real-life incident where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
inspired by her.

May 3, 2003

It was vacation time and my mom dropped me at my grandparent's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. I was happy as I like to stay there. During the night I was sitting in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
chair in the kitchen and was waiting to eat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ammachi
's special fish fry.
Usually
, she gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
pieces to us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this time I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
she is keeping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
pieces on a separate plate and going to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Appachan
room.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Appachan
was ill and was all set to go to the hospital, the
next
day.

We all ate dinner and slept. Around, midnight,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ammachi
came near me and said
Possible spelling mistake found.
Appachan
is not well and asked me to call my parents.

I tried to dial the numbers on the landline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the call did not connect, I tried a few other numbers of my cousins.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
no calls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
connected.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ammachi
took a torch and said to me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
connected to someone on the phone and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them know the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Appachan
is not well. She went
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and walked towards my cousin's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
my cousin's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is around 600 m from ours and had to cross a rubber estate to reach there as the short
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
and nearest
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
neighbour


After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time, I can hear loud cries from my cousin uncle who sat in our living room and crying and said
Possible spelling mistake found.
Appachan
is gone
.

I
was shocked
for a moment, was thinking what this uncle is saying, how he knows
Possible spelling mistake found.
Appachan
is dead without even touching him.
Finally
, I came to know the truth which shook me for a moment.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ammachi
already knew that he is no more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
she woke me up from the bed. I looked at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ammachi
who was sitting near her lost husband. She was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
calm and could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
her keeping her emotions down to the minimum.

She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
immense courage in this situation. For a normal person itself,
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to go through that rubber estate after 6 pm.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
she managed to walk those 600 m during midnight knowing her husband has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
this world. I once asked her how she was able to do
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
that and
she replied to me
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
We decide our fear and weakness
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

I am not sure whether this story fits the criteria of challenging injustice or questioned stereotypes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
Possible spelling mistake found.
definetly
a
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IELTS essay My inspiring woman is my GrandMother, Rachel David.

Essay
  American English
11 paragraphs
421 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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