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My friend and I both went to a festival.

My friend and I both went to a festival. While I'm very excited by a music performance, although my friend excitement drastically abated. Then I asked him about his current situation. Firstly, he had an abysmal talk with me then he starts crying. I asked the purpose of his grief. Then he told me the abstract story about past week situation in school. He told me that he was suffering from depression and anxiety after the skilled working test in physics. He linked his situation with the classmate though they are working accordingly with each other in physics. I advised him that physics acquisition may achieved by him through hardwork. While, he promised me to adopt the skills in physics yet he was crying. And as time passes he had finally adept in physics.
My friend and I both went to a festival. While I'm
very
excited by a music performance, although my friend excitement
drastically
abated. Then I asked him about his
current
situation.
Firstly
, he had an abysmal talk with me then he
starts
crying. I asked the purpose of his grief. Then he
told
me the abstract story about past week situation in school. He
told
me that he was suffering from depression and anxiety after the skilled working
test
in physics. He linked his situation with the classmate though they are working
accordingly
with each other in physics. I advised him that physics acquisition may
achieved
by him through
hardwork
. While, he promised me to adopt the
skills
in physics
yet
he was crying. And as time passes he had
finally
adept in physics.
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IELTS essay My friend and I both went to a festival.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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