Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Music should not be taught in schools along with other subjects such as computer and science. Do you agree or disagree.

Music should not be taught in schools along with other subjects such as computer and science. 0aJwq
A faction of the population holds the notion that music should not be mixed with other subjects like information technology and science. This essay is in accordance with the given statement as there are manifold reasons to substantiate it. I will support this statement with arguments in the following paragraphs. Layman consider secondary importance to the music. While the main subjects like maths, science and information technology is consider as primary important subjects. Moreover, if the music is added along with the fundamental subjects, there should be some negative impact on children. To begin with, students mind should deviate from studying. Additionally, there must be not enough time for the tutors to complete their specific subjects. Consequently, they will find difficulty in finishing the given portion, if music taught along the school subjects. Furthermore, music teachers are not very much encouraged by the school management. Therefore, the importance of music is depreciating day by day. Children are more encouraged to focus on the basic subjects by their parents and mentors rather than being involved in learning music. For instance, classical music required lot of time to learn. This will diminish the time of studying the fundamental basic subjects in school. Nevertheless, learning music will help a child to eliminate his stress from the burden of study. To recapitulate, learning music is good for mental relaxation. However, deviating from studies, not getting enough time to learn basic subjects, and importance of music is depreciating are the major problems if music is taught along with the fundamental subjects like science and computer. Ergo, I strongly admit that music should not be mixed with school subject.
A faction of the population holds the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
should not
be mixed
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like information technology and science. This essay is in accordance with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement as there are manifold reasons to substantiate it. I will support this statement with arguments in the following paragraphs.

Layman
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "considers".
consider
secondary importance to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. While the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, science and information technology is
Consider using a past participle here: "considered".
consider
as primary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Moreover
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
along with the fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on children. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, students mind should deviate from studying.
Additionally
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for the tutors to complete their specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Consequently
, they will find difficulty in finishing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
portion, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
taught along the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subjects.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
teachers are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much encouraged by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
management.
Therefore
, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is depreciating day by day. Children are more encouraged to focus on the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
by their parents and mentors
rather
than
being involved
in learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
For instance
, classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
required
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to learn. This will diminish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of studying the fundamental basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Nevertheless
, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a child to eliminate his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from the burden of study.

To recapitulate, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for mental relaxation.
However
, deviating from studies, not getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to learn basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, and importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is depreciating are the major problems if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is taught
along with the fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like science and computer. Ergo, I
strongly
admit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
should not
be mixed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Music should not be taught in schools along with other subjects such as computer and science.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Music should not be taught in schools along with other subjects such as computer and science. Do you agree or disagree.