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Music plays a vital role in our society

Music plays a vital role in our society YgB25
Music is not just a word. I consider music as a way to express our feelings or emotions. People tend to love music to relax and release our stress or our different kinds of feelings. It is believed that music is a part of our life. Although we don’t tend to notice that music is important, we actually do some things dealing with music almost every day. We tend to listen music to heal our mental wounds or to encourage our vulnerable sides. Different kinds of music genres can make us deal with our emotions. Sometimes, we fall in love with some lyrics which are such coincidences with our real life. So, I believe music is essential both in our society and in our daily life. Our emotions and feelings can change because of a piece of music or a sentence of song lyric. In other words, music influences the way we think. Music has a great impact on our emotions. It almost sounds like a master to our thought process. Besides, music is our best companion when we are lonely. It doesn’t talk but it makes us listen. Listen to our heartbeat, follow our passion and solve all problems calmly. To conclude, music does play a vital role in our society. Music has a strong effect of changing our vulnerable selves. The message we receive from a piece of music is precious as it will make our life a turning point.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a word. I consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as a way to express our feelings or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotions
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to relax and release our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
or our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of feelings. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a part of our life.

Although we don’t tend to notice that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, we actually do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
almost every day. We tend to listen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to heal our mental wounds or to encourage our vulnerable sides.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
genres can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us deal with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotions
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, we fall in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lyrics which are such coincidences with our real life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
Did you mean "essentially"?
essential
both in our society and in our daily life.

Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotions
and feelings can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or a sentence of song lyric.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
influences the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
has a great impact on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotions
. It almost sounds like a master to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is our best companion when we are lonely. It doesn’t talk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us listen. Listen to our heartbeat, follow our passion and solve all problems
calmly
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does play a vital role in our society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
has a strong effect of changing our vulnerable selves. The message we receive from a piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is precious as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life a turning point.
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IELTS essay Music plays a vital role in our society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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