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Music is an essential part of human lives

Music is an essential part of human lives RN9A8
Music is an essential part of human lives. Some individuals claim that music plays a crucial element in bringing up people from diversified cultures and ages together. I agree with this statement without any second thought and here I have listed out my few opinions. Firstly, Music is evolved from different geographies of the planet and various fraternities have been developed to admire and listen that particular music from a specific genre. In the early 1980s, Jazz music was introduced from the parts of Texas, consequently, it became popular in the whole world including an old age person living in Australia to a 13 year old girl living in Canada. Music is the bridge which connects people through their similar interests. A concept of collabaration is also seen nowadays, an american singer Akon comes to India and contributes his talent in the bollywood music and lauded by world audience. International live music concerts and music festivals are the key events which connects people from different diversities. This gives a view of globalization, togetherness and proves the fact "We are one! ". Secondly, As per some reaserch, people who are having similar taste of music can become friends without any extra effort. Music is the ground topic for strangers from any age group. For instance, unknown two solo travelers can match up easily if they like the same band or artist. In addition to that, there are good chances that those travelers can build their own music community and attract other nomads with the same music likings. To sum up, I would like to say that Music is a prominent factor in gathering people who are having similar likings furthermore, music plays a huge role in knowing and making amiable relations with different people from differnt parts of the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is an essential part of human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
plays a crucial element in bringing up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from diversified cultures and ages together. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement without any second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and here I have listed out my few opinions.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is evolved
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
geographies of the planet and various fraternities have
been developed
to admire and listen that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from a specific genre. In the early 1980s, Jazz
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
was introduced
from the parts of Texas,
consequently
, it became popular in the whole world including an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age person living in Australia to a 13 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
girl living in Canada.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is the bridge which connects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through their similar interests. A concept of
Possible spelling mistake found.
collabaration
is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
nowadays, an
Possible spelling mistake found.
american
singer
Possible spelling mistake found.
Akon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to India and contributes his talent in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bollywood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and lauded by world audience. International
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
concerts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
festivals are the key
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which connects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diversities. This gives a view of globalization, togetherness and proves the fact
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
We are one!
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
.

Secondly
, As per
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
reaserch
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are having similar taste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can become friends without any extra effort.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is the ground topic for strangers from any age group.
For instance
, unknown two solo travelers can match up
easily
if they like the same band or artist.
In addition
to that, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chances that those travelers can build their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
community and attract other nomads with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
Possible spelling mistake found.
likings
.

To sum up, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is a prominent factor in gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are having similar
Possible spelling mistake found.
likings
furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
plays a huge role in knowing and making amiable relations with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
differnt
parts of the world.
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IELTS essay Music is an essential part of human lives

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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