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Music and Art should be included in the school program. To what extent do you agree?

Music and Art should be included in the school program. e5EPB
Music and Art have been a part of every society since ancient times. People from Rome and Greece used to have regular performances in amphitheatres. A lot of great masterpieces have been presented to satisfy people's eyes. This essay will discuss ways that Music and other Art contribute to societies and personal life at present time. Basically, Music and Art have been integrated into our lives profoundly. Primary and secondary schools schedule these subjects in the curriculum. Why does it seem to be so vital for children and teens? Apparently, they have intentions to develop their skills. While doing such kinds of activities, students learn to release themselves and find their personal ways of doing activities. Probably, it might help them to succeed when applying their knowledge and experience in their future lives. A lot of people choose Art and Music as professional occupations. Some graduate colleges to become teachers, others continue to study to get a degree in Art. Why do Art and Music appear to be so significant in adult society? Art museums help us to study the cultures of previous generations, whereas Concert halls provide us with opportunities to feel a special atmosphere of the place, which might be energetically inspired and refreshed by live music. It is really fascinating to visit these places while traveling and very soothing after hard working days. Although there is a great variety of entertainments nowadays, a lot of people prefer Art and Music as a hobby. Whether you spend your time painting pictures, doing pottery, sewing, or embroidering, you are able to create a thing that is absolutely yours! It encourages us to feel alive in spite of things that might complicate people's lives. People also get used to listening to music as a daily routine as it helps them to experience different emotions or remember some precious moments. Not since they listen to their favorite songs, they hardly recall anything. From all arguments mentioned above, one can conclude that Music and other Arts are significant features to both society and individuals. People need to feel their abilities with a help of Art in childhood to find lucrative jobs and be successful socially. People deserve to release their personal talents. Eventually, each of us should take the time to feel vivid.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
have been a part of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
since ancient times.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
from Rome and Greece
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have regular performances in
Possible spelling mistake. 'amphitheatres' is British English.
amphitheatres
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
great masterpieces have
been presented
to satisfy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's eyes. This essay will discuss ways that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
and personal life at present time.

Basically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
have
been integrated
into our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
profoundly
. Primary and secondary schools schedule these subjects in the curriculum. Why does it seem to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
vital for children and teens?
Apparently
, they have intentions to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. While doing such kinds of activities, students learn to release themselves and find their personal ways of doing activities.
Probably
, it might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to succeed when applying their knowledge and experience in their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
as professional occupations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
graduate colleges to become teachers, others continue to study to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a degree in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
. Why do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
appear to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
significant in adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
museums
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us to study the cultures of previous generations, whereas Concert halls provide us with opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
a special atmosphere of the place, which might be
energetically
inspired and refreshed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. It is
really
fascinating to visit these places while traveling and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
soothing after
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
days.

Although there is a great variety of entertainments nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
as a hobby. Whether you spend your time painting pictures, doing pottery, sewing, or embroidering, you are able to create a thing
that is
absolutely
yours! It encourages us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
alive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
things that might complicate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as a daily routine as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
emotions or remember
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precious moments. Not since they listen to their favorite songs, they hardly recall anything.

From all arguments mentioned above, one can conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
are significant features to both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and individuals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
their abilities with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
in childhood to find lucrative jobs and be successful
socially
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
deserve to release their personal talents.
Eventually
, each of us should take the time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
vivid.
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IELTS essay Music and Art should be included in the school program.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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