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Museums and art galleries are only visited by tourist and not by the local people. What are the reasons for this and what can be done to solve this problem.

Museums and art galleries are only visited by tourist and not by the local people. What are the reasons for this and what can be done to solve this problem. 8aM5w
Museum's and historical sites reflect the tradition and culture of a country. However in the last few years it has been observed that museum's and historical sites are mainly visited by the tourist and not the local people. This the possible reasons responsible for less visitation of museums and Historical sites ny local residents will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs along with some solutions. To commence with, there a lot of reasons responsible for a decline in the number of people going to museums. First and foremost, nowadays people are equipped with latest technology and all sorts of electronic devices like mobile phones, computers and more. Hence, these gadgets act as a good source of entertainment for the masses. As a result of it, a major proportion of people spend their spare time on electronic devices rather than going to art galleries or a historical site. Secondly, although it is undeniable that art galleries provide an insight into human history yet some people regard art galleries as outdated and boring. Hence going to such places appears to be less interesting for them. On the other hand, local people can be attracted towards museums and historical sites by taking some initiative by the government or the higher authorities of the museumms. Firstly, in order to make museum's more advanced foreign artist can be invited for various art exhibitions. . Doing so will attract a large number of visitors. Secondly, discounts should be given on the purchase of entry tickets to the local people. Consequently, the proportion of people going to museum will automatically rise. To conclude, although percentage of local people visiting to historical sites and art galleries is declining due to certain reasons such as boredsome but by adopting measures like offering discounts on entry tickets this trend can be reversed.
Museum's and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
reflect the tradition and culture of a country.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in the last few years it has
been observed
that museum's and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are
mainly
visited by the tourist and not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This the possible reasons responsible for less visitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
Possible spelling mistake found.
ny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents will
be discussed
in the upcoming paragraphs along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions. To commence with, there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
reasons responsible for a decline in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
First
and foremost, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are equipped
with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technology and all sorts of electronic devices like mobile phones, computers and more.
Hence
, these gadgets act as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of entertainment for the masses.
As a result
of it, a major proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their spare time on electronic devices
rather
than going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
.
Secondly
, although it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
provide an insight into human history
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
as outdated and boring.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
going to such places appears to be less interesting for them.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be attracted
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
initiative by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or the higher authorities of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
museumms
.
Firstly
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
museum's more advanced foreign artist can
be invited
for various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
exhibitions.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
will attract
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
visitors.
Secondly
, discounts should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of entry tickets to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Consequently
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
will
automatically
rise.
To conclude
, although percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
is declining due to certain reasons such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
boredsome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by adopting measures like offering discounts on entry tickets this trend can
be reversed
.
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IELTS essay Museums and art galleries are only visited by tourist and not by the local people. What are the reasons for this and what can be done to solve this problem.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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