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Many medical doctors select to work in cities for making money. However, there are not enough medical doctors in rural areas. What is the cause? What is the solution for this issue?

Many medical doctors select to work in cities for making money. However, there are not enough medical doctors in rural areas. What is the cause? What is the solution for this issue? Blmaa
In recent years, an increasing number of medical doctors choose to work in cities for significantly higher income, leading to the lack of doctors in remote places. From my perspective, several factors contribute to this trend, and there are solutions to tackle this tendency. To begin with, there are several factors have caused this issue. The most obivious aspect is the comparatively higher level of income offered by health facilities, including hospitals and clinics, in cities. Indeed, an average income of doctors working in cities could be four or five times higher than their counterparts in remote areas. This is given by the fact that most patience coming to hospitals in cities willingly pay at all cost to maintain their well-being, ranging from medical examinations to treatment on their terminal ills. By contrast, people in many remote areas do not consider going to established health facilities in the first place when they have health problems. Because they simply cannot afford medical expenses in hospitals, not to mention many still hold supertitious belief on local traditional healers, medical doctors in such areas have significantly lower number of patience to treat. In spite of several causes, there are possible solutions to tackle this issue. First, government should subsidily develop healthcare systems, especially health facilities, medical equipment and infrastructure, by which increasing the effectiveness of doctors' performance and raising the status of proper health centers in remote areas. Second, medical doctors who work in rural areas should be encouraged by having, for example, financial incentives as well as career promotion. In conclusion, the lack of medical doctors in rural areas can be attributed to the inaccesibility of established health centers in rural areas for locals. Thus, law-makers should develop healthcare systems in these areas for the sake of the people.
In recent years, an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
choose to work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for
significantly
higher income, leading to the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
places. From my perspective, several factors contribute to this trend, and there are solutions to tackle this tendency.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several factors have caused this issue. The most
Possible spelling mistake found.
obivious
aspect is the
comparatively
higher level of income offered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities, including hospitals and clinics, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Indeed
, an average income of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
could be four or five times higher than their counterparts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the fact that most patience coming to hospitals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
willingly
pay at all cost to maintain their well-being, ranging from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
examinations to treatment on their terminal ills. By contrast,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
do not consider going to
'Going to' requires the base form: "establish"
established
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities in the
first
place when they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they
simply
cannot afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
expenses in hospitals, not to mention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
still
hold
Possible spelling mistake found.
supertitious
belief on local traditional healers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have
significantly
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "lowed", "lowered".
lower
number of patience to treat.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
several causes, there are possible solutions to tackle this issue.
First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
subsidily
develop healthcare systems,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
equipment and infrastructure, by which increasing the effectiveness of doctors' performance and raising the status of proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
centers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
who work in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
should
be encouraged
by having,
for example
, financial incentives
as well
as career promotion.

In conclusion
, the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can
be attributed
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
inaccesibility
of established
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
centers in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for locals.
Thus
, law-makers should develop healthcare systems in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for the sake of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay Many medical doctors select to work in cities for making money. However, there are not enough medical doctors in rural areas. What is the cause? What is the solution for this issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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