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multiple career or one career

multiple career or one career N31xN
It is a term of debate, having one career and focus on it or moving between multiple careers to get more experiences. On the one hand it is perfect to go on specific career and have more experience on the same field. Focusing in one career and being in depth on it to be expert and more successful. For instance if a doctor don’t waste time on another field and interest only in the medicine, he will be on continuous progress instead of disturbance on many careers. On the other hand versatile career is usually useful. Some people want to know everything about anything as knowledge. In fact practicing in colorful fields will increase the awareness of many things if related or not to the main career. In addition to some individuals take the another career as a hoppy and get in depth on it for entertainment or as a second job to gain more money for raising the main income Some concluding words would be that work on single field is the best way for success and keeping in progress with the new. In contrast working on more than one job is useful in case of as an addition income which helping in the difficult life. Others seek for information about all things; they prefer studying and gaining for benefits of everything even if out of the main career. Otherwise it is a dilemma and disturbance to work many jobs. On my opinion, having multiple fields, it will break the boring routine during the day.
It is a term of debate, having one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and focus on it or moving between multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more experiences.

On the one hand it is perfect to go on specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and have more experience on the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. Focusing in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and being in depth on it to be expert and more successful.
For instance
if a doctor don’t waste time on another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
and interest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the medicine, he will be on continuous progress
instead
of disturbance on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
careers.

On the other hand
versatile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is
usually
useful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to know everything about anything as knowledge. In fact practicing in colorful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
will increase the awareness of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things if related or not to the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
In addition
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals take the another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
as a
Possible spelling mistake found.
hoppy
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in depth on it for entertainment or as a second job to gain more money for raising the main
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
income


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
concluding words would be that work on single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
is the best way for success and keeping in progress with the new. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
working on more than one job is useful in case of as an addition income which helping in the difficult life. Others seek for information about all things; they prefer studying and gaining for benefits of everything even if out of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
it is a dilemma and disturbance to work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs. On my opinion, having multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
, it will break the boring routine during the day.
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IELTS essay multiple career or one career

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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