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Muaic has been and will be the universal language. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Muaic has been and will be the universal language. lxlYK
Language has been at the crux of communication between humans, a thing that sets us apart from other members of the animal kingdom. Although there are innumerable languages all over the world, music has always been a form of communication that has travelled beyond geographical boundaries. This essay elaborates on the reasons for my being in complete agreement with this point of view. To begin with, languages only act as a way of conversation, but what sets music apart is that it has an added spice of emotion. So, whenever the listener tunes into a song, it immediately hits some part of his mind and changes his mood in a certain way. Moreover, people tend to bond over music, though they may not know each others’ languages. For example, a person from India without any knowledge of Spanish will dance to the tune of Despacito with a Mexican woman and they may bond over it. Thus, people who cannot communicate with each other due to differences in their mother-tongues can bond over music. In this way, music brings people across the world seven seas together. In addition, music has historically also helped mend relations between enemy states. For instance, India and Pakistan have been political enemies since 1947. In spite of this, artists and musicians on both sides have always maintained cordial relations and tried to reduce animosity between the two countries. After the Kargil war, when the dialogue between both nations had stopped, noted musicians from both countries arranged a Hindustani music festival, a form of music practised and appreciated on the opposite sides of the border. This acted as a stepping stone towards the initiation of dialogue between the two neighbours. In conclusion, due to the fact that music is a mixture of emotion and communication, and music has helped improve relations between neighbouring states, I completely agree with the view that music has been and will continue to be a universal language.
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Language
has been at the crux of communication between humans, a thing that sets us apart from other members of the animal kingdom. Although there are innumerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has always been a form of communication that has travelled beyond geographical boundaries. This essay elaborates on the reasons for my being in complete agreement with this point of view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
act as a way of conversation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what sets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
apart is that it has an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
spice of emotion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, whenever the listener tunes into a song, it immediately hits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of his mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
his mood in a certain way.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to bond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, though they may not know each
Did you mean "other's"?
others’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
For example
, a person from India without any knowledge of Spanish will dance to the tune of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Despacito
with a Mexican
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
woman and
they may bond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
it.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who cannot communicate with each other due to differences in their mother-tongues can bond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
brings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
across the world seven seas together.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
historically
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
mend relations between enemy states.
For instance
, India and Pakistan have been political enemies since 1947.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, artists and musicians on both sides have always maintained cordial relations and tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
animosity between the two countries. After the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kargil
war, when the dialogue between both nations had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
, noted musicians from both countries arranged a Hindustani
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
festival, a form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
and appreciated on the opposite sides of the border. This acted as a stepping stone towards the initiation of dialogue between the two
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.

In conclusion
, due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a mixture of emotion and communication, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
relations between
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
states, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has been and will continue to be a universal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.

IELTS essay Muaic has been and will be the universal language.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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