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Moving abroad is good for family or it increase the stress.do you agree or disagree

Moving abroad is good for family or it increase the stress. L9WQ6
Little bit of a risk might give you a lifelong experience. . With the globalization people are getting chances to work outstation for a while and, they are allowed to take their families with them as well. I strongly belive that positive impact out weigh the negative impact and in the essay i will explain why. To begin with, i hardly belive that this chance of going abroad in a young age will give out a bad outcome, for an example, if i ever had the chance to go outstation then it wouldve given me a good exposure whereas staying in your motherland will only limit yourself with the same face and the culture. Most people in my country aren't bilingual, although once you fly to a new country it will give you the knowledge of new languages. Next best income from taking the family is that the individgual person wont end up being alone, because of the language barrier it would be hard to settle down rightaway therefore being with blood relations will be a plus mark. All in all these reasons explains that it will be a good foundation for each individual. On the other hand, many youngsters tend to loose their mother toungue because of the new exposure, as in they will introduce themself a new culture, tradition and, a new langauge due to this situations many teenagers ought to forget their own. Furthermore with new people They will intend to forget their past, mostly old school batchmates and the grandparents. to sum up with the demerits, it is highly affected individgually eventhough we can step a little ahead of it. In conclusion, all the reasonings show that advantages outgrow the disadvantages. I strongly belive that it is a plus mark for a better life and a experience for everyone in the family.
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
Little bit
of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
might give you a lifelong experience.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
With the globalization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are

getting chances to work outstation for a while and, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to take their families

with them
as well
. I
strongly
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact out weigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact and in the essay

Did you mean "I"?
i
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, i hardly
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that this chance of going abroad in a young age will give out a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
outcome,

for an example, if
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
ever had the chance to go outstation then it
Possible spelling mistake found
wouldve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
me a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
exposure whereas

staying in your motherland will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limit yourself with the same face and the culture. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in my country

aren't bilingual, although once you
fly
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
country it will give you the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
languages.

Next
best income from taking the family is that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
individgual
person
Please make sure you mean 'wont' (a habit), not "won't"/"won’t" (short for 'will not')?
wont
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up being alone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the

language barrier it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to settle down
Possible spelling mistake found.
rightaway
therefore
being with blood relations will be a plus mark.

All in all these reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
that it will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
foundation for each individual.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters tend to
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their mother
Possible spelling mistake found.
toungue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
exposure, as in they will introduce
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself


a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture, tradition and, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
langauge
due to
Did you mean "these"?
this
situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
ought to forget their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


They will intend to forget their past,
mostly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
school
Possible spelling mistake found.
batchmates
and the grandparents.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
sum up with the demerits, it is
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected


Possible spelling mistake found.
individgually
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
we can step a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
ahead of it.

In conclusion
, all the
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasonings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that advantages outgrow the disadvantages. I
strongly
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that it is a plus mark for a better

life and
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
experience for everyone in the family.
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IELTS essay Moving abroad is good for family or it increase the stress.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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