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It is said that become vegatarian because they do not eat meat to have a healthy diet. To what extend do you agree?

It is said that become vegatarian because they do not eat meat to have a healthy diet. GLdM2
It is said that many people nowadays are becoming vegetarian because they do not eat meat to have a healthy diet. Personally, I agree with this statement because of their personal influencies and they want to renovate there diets into a more sufficient diet. While I agree with this statement, I believe that this also has many negative effects and I will discuss my own opinion about this statement To start my discussion, I want to demonstrate my agreement that I have said before. I agree because of their personal influencies. Specifically, it means that these peoples are being fascinated by the merits and functions of vegetables and other dishes that is related such as ratatouille, mashed potato, . . . Regardless of any kinds of vegetable, it is deemed to be a source that can prevent the ageing process and prolong their lifes. Becoming a vegetarian, they will have a desirable life, no worries about showing themselves to anyone else and it will be captivating for them to keep up. One more merit is that vegetables have a vital container, which is vitamin C, can boost people's stamina and calories. Hence, vegetables have become an essential part of every family's meal and this means vegetables have a meaningful contribution to our world. On the other hand, it's my belief that becoming a vegetarian does lead us to the malnutrition and other consequences. Due to the fact that we're vegetarians, this will lead us to the malnutrition and other consequences such as lack of protein, strength impairments and more because the every types of vegetable only contain Vitamin A and C, but there are no protein, fat and vitamin B, E. Every vegetarian should know and search for the nutritions guidebook this before they change their diet recently and should consider clearly. To sum up, vegetables are functional to us and they have become a crucial part of this world. Everyone can become vegetarian, but we should consider clearly and make a bright choice before turning into vegetarian
It
is said
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays are becoming vegetarian
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not eat meat to have a healthy diet.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their personal
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
influencies and
they want to renovate there diets into a more sufficient diet. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, I believe that this
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects and I will discuss my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion about this statement

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my discussion, I want to demonstrate my agreement that I have said
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
influencies
.
Specifically
, it means that these peoples are
being fascinated
by the merits and functions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
dishes that
is related
such as ratatouille, mashed potato
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Regardless of any kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetable
, it
is deemed
to be a source that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
process and prolong their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
. Becoming a vegetarian, they will have a desirable life, no worries about showing themselves to anyone else and it will be captivating for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up. One more merit is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
have a vital container, which is vitamin C, can boost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's stamina and calories.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
have become an essential part of every family's meal and this means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
have a meaningful contribution to our world.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it's my belief that becoming a vegetarian does lead us to the malnutrition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
consequences. Due to the fact that we're vegetarians, this will lead us to the malnutrition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
consequences such as lack of protein, strength impairments and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "type"?
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contain
The word 'vitamin' is normally not capitalized in the expression "vitamin A"
Vitamin A
and C,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are no protein,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and vitamin B, E. Every vegetarian should know and search for the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "nutritions'" or "nutrition's"?
nutritions
guidebook this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their diet recently and should consider
clearly
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
are functional to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
us and
they have become a crucial part of this world. Everyone can become vegetarian,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should consider
clearly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a bright choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
turning into
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
vegetarian
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IELTS essay It is said that become vegatarian because they do not eat meat to have a healthy diet.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
337 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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