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Movies and television influence the way people behave. Do you agree or disagree?

Movies and television influence the way people behave. 9Bq07
Technology is very popular in this generation and it involves television and movies. I agree with this statement. First, I think that movies and television has sometimes good influence on people. Young people are always watching movies and have favorite character/actor and they want to be like them so they dress up like them and act like them. I watch many films and I have favorites, for example I love Rory from Gilmore girls, it is TV series but I love her and I want to dress like her and have same life she has. Secondly, people watch television and movies because they are interested in other people’s lives and culture and as well they want to know their country’s news. They watch other people decorate for new year or Halloween and they decorate theirs like others. In conclusion, movies and television influence people’s behavior, whether we like it on not. Movies and television also have an impact on how people behave.
Technology is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular in this generation and it involves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

First
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and have favorite character/
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
actor and
they want to be like them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they dress up like them and act like them. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
films and I have favorites,
for example
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
Rory from Gilmore girls, it is TV series
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
her and I want to dress like her and have same life she has.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are interested
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and culture and
as well
they want to know their country’s news. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decorate for new year or
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Halloween and
they decorate theirs like others.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
behavior, whether we like it on not.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
also
have an impact on how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behave.
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IELTS essay Movies and television influence the way people behave.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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