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Motivation for university

Motivation for university 5L3ln
I am interested in studying my bachelor degree in field of civil engineering in your program. I chose this area because I enjoy the process and idea of creating something stable forever. At first I thought architecture, but civil engineering is more practical and entertaining for me. I have always admired the massive structures and buildings which I saw around the world including Hungary. Therefore, I have always been inspired by the people who were involved in designing and constructing these buildings. I expect to receive a great education and make my hometown prettier and comfortable for living. In fact, infrastructure is one of the most significant in Kazakhstan. I adore the fact that civil engineering I could apply my wonderful knowledge of sciences and math to the real world. I have succeeded in physics and math in my hometown. My grades are well. The teacher says that independent learning, which I have practiced is impressive. In summer, I tried myself at research work, and gain experience and insight. The project was focused on conducting solar energy though setting equipment at roof of building. I understand how it is fascinating to me. Gradual progress was made in my knowledge. I have worked with team and some tasks were done only by me. I am great at analytical and critical thinking skills. I noticed it from my possibility to solve problems at subject and real life. I lake laboratory work in science classes. From the view of my friends, I am responsible, creative, purposeful person. My goal is to be expect in my field, therefore Hungarian education is what I need. As I mentioned above, that is chance to me for ameliorating bridges, roads buildings in Almaty and in the other cities of Kazakhstan in future. As a result, I could develop my local and national environment. If we watch to this changes in different perspective, better quality of cities and infrastructure could be a step for developing tourism and standard of living Kazakhstan’s citizens. Consequently, it will raise the ranking of Kazakhstan and Hungarian University, where I will have education. I am considering university of Debrecen as a firs choice and University of Pecs as a second in civil engineering program. It will be fascinating challenge for me. Changing the environment, facing different obstacles, which lead to personal professional growth is something breathtaking, I know that civil engineering is not easy, but I am ready for that. Plausible or current issues never stop me, conversely. It gave precious lessons for prospective life. I will be appreciative, if I can become an awarded of Stipendium Hungaricum because it will help me in achieving my aim.
I
am interested
in studying my bachelor degree in field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
in your program. I chose this area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I enjoy the process and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of creating something stable forever. At
The comma is probably missing here: "first, I".
first I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
architecture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
is more practical and entertaining for me. I have always admired the massive structures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
around the world including Hungary.
Therefore
, I have always
been inspired
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
were involved
in designing and constructing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to receive a great education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my hometown prettier and comfortable for living. In fact, infrastructure is one of the most significant in Kazakhstan.

I adore the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
I could apply my wonderful knowledge of sciences and math to the real world. I have succeeded in physics and math in my hometown. My grades are well. The teacher says that independent learning, which I have practiced is impressive. In summer, I tried myself at research work, and gain experience and insight. The project
was focused
on conducting solar energy though setting equipment at roof of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. I understand how it is fascinating to me. Gradual progress
was made
in my knowledge. I have worked with team and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tasks
were done
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by me. I am great at analytical and critical thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
noticed it from my possibility to solve problems at subject and real life.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
lake laboratory work in science classes. From the view of my friends, I am responsible, creative, purposeful person. My goal is to be
Consider using a past participle here: "expected".
expect
in my field,
therefore
Hungarian education is what I need.

As I mentioned above,
that is
chance to me for ameliorating bridges, roads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in Almaty and in the other cities of Kazakhstan
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
As a result
, I could develop my local and national environment. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
to
Did you mean "these"?
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective, better quality of cities and infrastructure could be a step for developing tourism and standard of living Kazakhstan’s citizens.
Consequently
, it will raise the ranking of Kazakhstan and Hungarian University, where I will have education. I am considering university of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Debrecen
as a firs choice and University of Pecs as a second in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
program.

It will be fascinating challenge for me. Changing the environment, facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
obstacles, which lead to personal professional growth is something breathtaking, I know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
is not easy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am ready for that. Plausible or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
issues never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
me,
conversely
. It gave precious lessons for prospective life.

I will be appreciative, if I can become an awarded of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stipendium
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hungaricum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me in achieving my aim.
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IELTS essay Motivation for university

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
444 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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