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Mothers play key roles in the upbringing of children.But in the recent times both parents are getting busy with proffesional life.Who in your opinion should take the responsibility of child care now

Mothers are very crucial for their children upbringing. Although, nowadays parents do not have free time for their children care because they are so busy with their jobs. I think mothers care one of the most useful method in child upbringing and I will discuss some reasons for this situation. First, in the past parents used to have more free time for their childen, but nowadays parents lost the habit of child caring, as they engaged in proffesional jobs. In the past mothers were set aside more time for their children and households, but men were more responsible for working outside for feeding their family and caring about them. Although this scenario changed over the past ten years. Secondly, parents do not have free time in terms of upbringing children in these days because of
Mothers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
upbringing. Although, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy with their jobs. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
mothers care one of the most useful
Please check whether a plural form of ‘method’ should be used.
method
in child upbringing and I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for this situation.

First
, in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
childen
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
lost the habit of child caring, as they engaged in
Possible spelling mistake found.
proffesional
jobs. In the past mothers
were set
aside more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and households,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
were more responsible for working outside for feeding their family and caring about them.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
this scenario
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over the past ten years.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in terms of upbringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of

IELTS essay Mothers play key roles in the upbringing of children. But in the recent times both parents are getting busy with proffesional life. Who in your opinion should take the responsibility of child care now

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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