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Most societies have homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money.To what extent do you agree?

Most societies have homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. gjVd
Many countries, including highly developed countries namely the USA has homeless people living in the streets or under bridges. There are people who think that the most effective way to help homeless people is to grand them money. From my perspective, giving them money would make the situation only worse as it may make them more dependent on others. Firstly, giving homeless people money is just a temporary solution. Usually, people who live in the streets use all of their cash to buy drugs, cigarettes or alcohol rather than spending it on food or shelter. As a result, contributing to them might not help them instead it may cause more damage to their overall health. In addition, in the big cities there are many that fakes being homeless in order to beg and earn money without working. Secondly, governments should take immediate action for their homeless citizens. A realistic solution would be to built container housing for the people in need and asking charities to provide them food and clothes. In addition, advertising for donations, creating pages on social platforms and sharing all of these actions on tv news would encourage locals to fund the charities. Moreover, free trainings in various areas such as mechanics or arts will help homeless people to get a job and be independent individuals. In conclusion, instead of giving homeless people money which is probably going to be spent on toxic substances, In my opinion supporting them with shelter and food is more realistic and efficient solution and it will decrease the amount of people who lives on the streets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries, including
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
namely
the USA has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the streets or under bridges. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the most effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
to grand them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. From my perspective, giving them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
worse
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more dependent on others.

Firstly
, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a temporary solution.
Usually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the streets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
all of their cash to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
drugs, cigarettes or alcohol
rather
than spending it on food or shelter.
As a result
, contributing to them might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
instead
it may cause more damage to their
overall
health.
In addition
, in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that fakes being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
in order to beg and earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
without working.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should take immediate action for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
citizens. A realistic solution would be to built container housing for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in need and asking charities to provide them food and clothes.
In addition
, advertising for donations, creating pages on social platforms and sharing all of these actions on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
news would encourage locals to fund the charities.
Moreover
, free trainings in various areas such as mechanics or arts will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job and be independent individuals.

In conclusion
,
instead
of giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which is
probably
going to
be spent
on toxic substances, In my opinion supporting them with shelter and food is more realistic and efficient solution and it will decrease the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
on the streets.
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IELTS essay Most societies have homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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