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Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what Extent do you agree?

Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. 0PdG
Homeless people are present in most of the societies. Providing homeless people with money is the best way to help them according to some people. I do not completely agree with this notion. Before we try to evaluate various solutions of this prevalent issue, we need to see what the root cause of the issue is. Why every society has homeless people, is it because of some natural calamity like earthquake or flood or is it because of manmade events like War. In this case providing them with money is the best solution as it will allow them to stand on their feet again, as they are not homeless by choice but due to external circumstances. However there are people who are homeless by choice, those includes drug users, small time thieves etc. Some of them are forced to leave their home due to their indulgences in illegal or immoral activities. Providing them with money is like putting fuel to fire, as most of these homeless people in this category, do not work. Instead one should try to find out long term solutions of providing them with employment and putting them in shelter homes or NGOs. There are people who used to be well off but due to bad decisions or bad luck have become homeless, giving them money can be helpful for people in this category. In the end it can be said that there is no best way to help homeless people, one solution does not fit all, giving money can solve the issue for a short period of time, but in the long run it can have negative consequences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are present in most of the societies. Providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I do not completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
we try to evaluate various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
of this prevalent issue, we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what the root cause of the issue is. Why every society has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, is it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
natural calamity like earthquake or flood or is it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
manmade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
like War.
In this case
providing them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the best
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solution
as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to stand on their feet again, as they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
by choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to external circumstances.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
by choice,
The verb 'includes' is singular. Did you mean: "This includes" or "those include"?
those includes
drug users,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
small time
thieves etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home due to their indulgences in illegal or immoral activities. Providing them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is like putting fuel to fire, as most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this category, do not work.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Instead
one should try to find out long term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
of providing them with employment and putting them in shelter homes or NGOs. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be well off
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
decisions or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
luck have become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
, giving them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this category.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it can
be said
that there is no best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
does not fit all, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can solve the issue for a short period of time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the long run it can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.
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IELTS essay Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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